


close your eyes (and surrender to your darkest dreams)

by Marguerite_Thian



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Darcy, Because come on, F/M, FitzSimmons yay, I don’t even know how to tag this actually, KGB spysassin Darcy, Minor Jane/Thor - Freeform, Multi, Northumberland, Northumberland deserves its own tag people, One-Shot, Rated for foul language, ShieldShock - Freeform, Slow Burn, Swearing, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trip Lives, background Clint/Laura, except of a little bit of Ragnarök, have you ever imagined crying Clint Barton, in which everybody adopts everybody, minor Brutasha, minor Pepperony, not anything after Age of Ultron compliant, not exactly The Winter Soldier compliant, oh wait there’s Bucky/Sam, only a little but still, only very loosely based on AOS because that show is basically made out of the fandom’s tears, or what is going on for that matter, so much swearing that my Mum will kill me if she ever reads this, which she never will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23734117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marguerite_Thian/pseuds/Marguerite_Thian
Summary: A little girl, raised to be a spy. A little boy, born to be a hero. He wants his old life; she wants a new life. And then tangents meet at point T. Whoops.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Darcy Lewis & Clint Barton, Darcy Lewis & Everyone, Darcy Lewis & Laura Barton, Darcy Lewis & Natasha Romanoff, Darcy Lewis & Nick Fury, Darcy Lewis & Phil Coulson, Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, Jane Foster/Thor, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts
Kudos: 13





	close your eyes (and surrender to your darkest dreams)

**Author's Note:**

> Remember when I said that I was writing a ShieldShock piece that would hopefully come out ‘soon’? Heh. I lied. I've been working on this since, I dunno? September last year? I’m a human disaster, I know. But this was originally written on writing paper and it's a hundred and thirteen pages long so there's that!
> 
> This thing doesn’t really follow the MCU timeline fyi. It’s just a massive mess of word vomit that I am _not_ proud of. 
> 
> And the title’s from Music of the Night. I don’t know why did I choose that actually. It just came up. 
> 
> Oh, and I couldn’t resist stuffing my knowledge on the Reformation in this.
> 
> Now I’ve got those things out of the way: **Enjoy**!

Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina was born on the fifth of January, 1990. There was nothing spectacular about her, really, except, perhaps, for the fact that she was born in Leningrad, and that her parents were completely devoted to the KGB. But under normal circumstances (as in her parents were undercover), no one would spare her more than a glance.

She was a strong and devoted thing, this little Stasiya. By the frail age of three she began to train with the Asset and one of the best junior Black widows – Natalia Romanova. Talia, always trained to betray no emotion, doted on the little creature, and affectionately called her her ‘cестра’. The Winter Soldier was stoic, and had a ridiculous reputation of losing his temper with small children, but if she’d ever learnt how to, little Stasiya would call bullshit on that, because hello? the Winter Soldier coddled her more than her father ever did. But little Stasiya was ruthless. By the age of five she could throw knives just as well as any junior agent. Talia gave her her first Taser, and when Nikola saved the lot of them during a raid, Dimitri Rasputin gave her a bigger, better one. She had her first kill when she was six, and a gang of anti-Nazis attacked her training room. It had gotten her kidnapped, apparently, but little Stasiya was no weak child and before suppertime, Talia and the Asset had broken in, and her mother had killed them all.

But her brother, poor Konstantin was a different matter entirely. While little Stasiya could kill a man, he could not bear the sight of blood. He was forced to be a murderer against his own will, forced to kill and kill again without conscience. All that had not hardened his heart, and the poor boy was almost reduced to shambles by his eleventh birthday. Little Stasiya was six by then, and the Rasputins left for America as undercover agents. And now they were no longer the Rasputins, but Robert, Caroline, Theodore and Darcy Lewis.

The Lewis family trained and killed in secret. Theodore and Darcy went to school, their parents worked in respectable companies and attended neighbourhood activities. On paper, they were the perfect, healthy, happy family. Under the pretty façade, it was a nearly shattered family. Konstantin refused to kill, and Stasiya was strained. The guilt of murder added on with her age, but so did the expectations of her parents. Theodore Lewis was a bubbly, well-liked boy, but Konstantin Rasputin was the shame of the family. He was silent all the time, his hands trembling, gaze distant and hesitant. He would disappear every time he came back after a mission, unseen for days. His sister would smuggle food for him into the basement, and that was where she found him, the year she was fifteen.

‘Stasiya. Stasiya, I don’t understand how you do this. People die every day because of us. There’s so much blood on my hands. I can’t Stasiya. I can’t kill these innocent people anymore!’

‘No, Stantin, no. You don’t have to do this anymore. _We_ don’t have to do this anymore. Look. I found Mama’s money box. Take it, run away tonight. Start a new life. I’ll find you when I’m free.’

‘How will you find me then, Stasiya? I could be anyone, anywhere. I could be dead.’

‘I can always find you, no matter where you are. I’m Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina for a reason, Stantin. You’re my brother, and I’d always find you.’

Konstantin broke down in tears. ‘Stasiya, cестра, I’ll go away tonight. Find your chance, come to me, we’ll make it out of hell together.’

That midnight, at the front door, bittersweet tears were mingled, and Stasiya, in her sharp, hushed tone, hissed, ‘Go, Stantin, go. This is your last chance, go, and I will find you. You’re free, at last. I love you. Go!’

Konstantin kissed his sister and ran. Into the darkness of the night. Stasiya went back to her room and wept. For the loss of her beloved brother, for the fear of facing her parents. He was free, and he had a chance to wash off the blood splattered on his hands. She wondered if she would ever have the chance. She wondered if could ever escape this life. She sunk into her pillows and wept once more.

To say her parents were furious was an understatement. They raged and fumed, and Darcy was not allowed out of the house for the entire summer. Perfect, docile Darcy Lewis being grounded was a shock to the neighbourhood. They decided to believe that she was heartbroken over her brother’s ‘going for university in Scotland’.

But that was in the day time, apparently. At night she had to serve Mother Russia. At night she had to have more blood added to her ledger. At night she was not Darcy Lewis, not Anastasiya Rasputina. At night she was the nameless, heartless killer, taking lives like War and Death. At night there was no peace.

She continued like that, Darcy by day, a spirit by night. For her there was no peace. She was a killing machine, like the Asset, and nothing more.

She went to Culver when she was nineteen. But her life was no different. Student by day, killer by night. She promised her parents that after her Masters she would return, and be the perfect agent, the best Mother Russia could ever ask for. Then she was short of six science credits.

Jane Foster was well wanted by HYDRA. Anastasia Rasputina would say ‘ignore HYDRA, they’re shitheads’, and Darcy Lewis would say ‘HYDRA can go _fuck_ themselves’. But the spirit, the killer would say ‘kidnap her, serve Motherland’. Darcy Lewis won the debate. Obviously. Then New Mexico happened.

And now Darcy decided that _Loki_ could go and drown in a pool of cow dung. And then _hell_ , Agent iPod Thief and his precious S.H.I.E.L.D. could be damned. No one touches her iPod and _lives_. Coulson – no, Son of Coul – was the first exception. She didn’t know why, but she felt that she shouldn’t kill him, and that was that.

And to add to her misery, very unfortunately, Jane fell in love with Thor, the literal god of thunder, and vice versa, Darcy had to deal with the heartbreak nonsense when Thor had to bring his rebel brother back to Asgard. Ugh, at least Sif apologised for her troubles, or she would not be responsible for bodily damage.

Stasiya went home once, received an earful from her parents, killed a few men, got away with it and met up with her old friends. She went back to Jane after that, and New York happened.

S.H.I.E.L.D. sent them off to Norway, and of all places, Tromsø, in guise of research. Jane, the Science! maniac that she was, was excited to boot. That was before Darcy hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D. files to find that Thor was back. And then she had to put up with Jane’s hysterical screaming and cursing. Saying that she was _so done with this shit_ was an understatement. Now she felt like she could kill an asshole for fun.

Jane, under the control of adrenaline and hysterics, crash-landed them in New York, to find that Thor had returned to Asgard. Again. With Loki. And so Jane went to yell at Tony Stark, who looked at her with a whole lot of amusement, offered to contact her whenever Thor returned. Jane, the desperate scientist slash girlfriend, agreed wholeheartedly. Darcy, not in the mood for snarky billionaires, decided to sass him.

‘Ooh,’ Stark snarked back, ‘a spitfire. I like her. Pepper, can I keep her?’

Pepper Potts, while secretly admiring Darcy’s poisonous tongue, was less than amused with her boss slash (probably) boyfriend. ‘No.’

Stark raised both hands in surrender. ‘Whatever. See you in the near future, Lewis.’

And after that, Jane accepted the post as lecturer in some university in London that Darcy can never remember the name of, and they crashed in her mum’s house. Darcy thought she could finally have a (mildly) normal life. (She’s _Jane Foster_ ’s assistant slash former intern, seriously. How normal can her life be?) But nope. Those dark elves had to invade London of all places. Of all people Jane had to go and tough the Aether. Of all queens they had to go and kill Frigga. And no, Darcy was _so fucking done with all that shit_ , and suddenly she wanted to return to her KGB routine.

After the whole London fiasco, Thor took Jane to Asgard. Again. Stasiya returned home, and resumed her murdering job. And no, she was _so not amused_ when she was assigned to attack S.H.I.E.L.D. But she went ahead anyway. She had freedom during the day. At night she had to serve Motherland.

She snuck into S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. She hacked into files and tased a few idiots. That night she got news that a HYDRA base was raided. Her parents were killed.

‘Complete this last mission, Stasiya,’ she told herself, ‘one last mission and you are free to seek Stantin.’

She creeped into a room and rammed right into a very tall, very stout man. She yelped and looked up, and saw an eyepatch.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

‘Miss Rasputina. What a pleasure.’

She looked at him again. ‘Urm, hello, Director Fury….?’

‘Your parents are dead.’

‘I heard.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. We weren’t exactly close.’

He hummed.

‘Are you going to arrest me?’

‘’Fraid not, kid. Care for a tour around here?’

‘Why not? I’m always curious.’

‘Be our guest. Hill, show the kid around.’

A scary-looking, brown-haired woman came into the room. She eyed Stasiya for three whole seconds before saying, ‘Of course. Allow me, Miss Lewis.’

Stasiya nodded and followed her out.

‘How do you know?’

‘Coulson spoke highly of you.’

‘Son of Coul, Agent iPod Thief?’

‘As it seems, Yes.’

‘If I meet him, can I get my iPod back?’

‘’You’ll have to ask the director.’

‘He’d better give it back,’ she grits.

‘Or?’ Hill asks warily.

‘I’ll spit in his face.’

Hill laughs. ‘Do that, and you’ll find yourself a new father. Call me Maria. Can I call you Darcy? Or do you prefer Anastasiya?’

‘Oh _no_. Darcy would do. There’re only three people left in the world allowed to call me Anastasiya.’

‘I don’t think I want to know.’

‘You don’t.’

And Maria stopped in front of a silver-coloured door.

‘Computer and Electronics Control Department. You might be interested.’

‘Why?’

‘Please. Do you think we don’t know you hacked into our files?’

‘Okay. About that. I’m sorry. The first time I did it, it was for Jane. The other times were for my own amusement. Sorry.’

‘No, I’m not guilt-tripping you. You might just, you know, want to see it.’

She pushed the door open, and there was a lone, tall, yellow-haired young man sitting in front of one of the computers, typing rapidly. He looked up at them.

Darcy nearly lost her glasses and her jaw. ‘Stantin?’

He leapt from his chair. ‘Stasiya? How did you get out?’

‘Papa and Mama are dead.’

He nearly collapsed. ‘Dead? Since when?’

‘Last night. Someone raided the den.’

‘Oh, good.’

‘They were in it.’

‘Papa and Mama?’

‘Да.’

‘Нет.’

‘ _C’est_ _vrai_.’

‘That’s French.’

‘Oh, whatever. How come you to work with these jack-booted thugs?’

‘Director Fury found me.’

‘Does he have a particular liking towards former HYDRA agents?’

‘No, Lewis. I have a particular liking towards the spawns of HYDRA agents,’ Fury said in the hallway.

She jumped and turned. ‘What the actual _fuck_.’

Fury looked highly amused. ‘Hill, can I keep her?’

Maria, who had been amused also, looked wildly _un_ amused. ‘No. Talented field agent, not going anywhere near your filthy paperwork.’

Darcy looked at them with unconcealed exasperation. ‘Are you guys trying to hire me before even asking me? Dude. Before you do that, at least try to teach your jack-booted thugs some manners.’

Fury’s eyebrows twitched. ‘Proceed.’

‘And you assholes better try not to keep secrets from people I mean what the _fuck_. You sent Jane and me to some slum in Norway without so much as a phone when Thor came back to Earth. Did you know how much bullshit I had to put up with? No, you don’t because you don’t work with Jane fucking Foster who is hopeless when it comes to romance. Wait,’ and she turned to Maria, ‘pretty sure you have to put up with this,’ pointing at Fury’s nose (yes, she was _that_ close to spitting in his face), ‘dude’s bullshit. I pity you.’

Fury’s lips twitched slightly, but still.

Maria chewed on her lips to fight her laugh. ‘If you work in the fields we don’t have to put up with that. Work for us?’

‘What do I get if I agree? My iPod? Fury’s eyepatch? Permission to lick Barton’s arms?’

Konstantin chokes on air. ‘Barton’s married, cестра.’

‘Yea, knew that since New Mexico.’

Fury’s lips twitched visibly. And Maria was wheezing against the wall. Darcy would call that as a win.

* * *

But they settled down rather quickly, and Darcy was very promptly assigned and settled. Konstantin was only mildly satisfied that they assigned his Stasiya for field work and ‘endangering (his) already unsafe cестра _’_. Darcy met part of the team, and decided that she liked Jemma and Daisy well enough. Fitz was funny, and he and Jemma looked so sickly sweet that she felt the need to reduce her sugar consumption to prevent diabetes and cavities. May terrified the shits out of her. Coulson – no, Son of Coul – was pretty much as she remembered, and still refused to return her iPod. Well, as long as she got a stable pay check, Son o’ Coul could judge her shitty taste in music as much as he liked.

She got on well enough with Barton, whom, she later discovered, was a complete troll. Which was exactly why they seemed to become adopted siblings overnight. Konstantin wasn’t necessarily troubled by the friendship, considering both their stories of Darcy being Thor’s Lightning Sister. Darcy told hers, in detail, about how she tased Thor, the bloody _god of thunder_ , and how she and Jane drove her van into the geezer, _twice_. Clint told Thor’s story, with emphasis on the god’s choice of words. To say that Konstantin was not amused was an understatement. Nope, the first thing he said after hearing the story was that he would like to give Thor and earful for putting his baby сестра in danger.

Clint invited them both to his farm for Christmas, by Laura’s request to see his _other Russian sister._ Laura’s first thought when she saw Darcy was ‘are you sure she’s _Clint_ ’s sister, not _mine_?’ and Clint, understanding her _Look #7_ , laughed and declared that Laura should adopt Darcy and he should adopt Konstantin. Darcy Laughed, and told them to _both_ adopt her and be happy, considering that it was more than unlikely that Stantin would want to be part of their nonsense. The affirmative was assured, and the children were let out of their rooms.

There was only Cooper and Lila, but somehow they made such a racket that it seemed that there were much more of them a lot more of them. Cooper was a little bit more quiet than his sister, but hello? he’s a Barton. How quiet can he be? Lila was definitely raised by Clint’s _other Russian sister_ , considering her reflexes. She almost knocked Stantin down when she pranced, but Darcy – no – _Stasiya_ ’s a trained spysassin, and a little girl can’t make her shift.

Lila looked at her with awe. ‘Aw, you’re just like Aunty Nat! She doesn’t fall when I pounce!’

Clint lifted her out of Darcy’s Arms. ‘Yes, you little monster. Aunty Darcy is just like Aunty Nat. Now don’t go flying at every Russian you see. I don’t wasn’t to be responsible for broken bones.’

The little girl ran out into the garden with her brother. Clint laughed. ‘Natasha’s coming over tomorrow. With Banner. They seem to have some really weird shit going on. Not that I’m not curious, but the last time I asked she kneed me in the balls. Not risking it anymore. She’ll probably be thrilled to see another KGB turned S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Remember to ask for me.’

Konstantin looked at his sister. ‘I have so many theories on who this Natasha is, right now.’

‘Definitely a Black Widow. Probably Franziska – what was it again? Karenina? Klokova? or that ridiculously Americanised brat – Eveline Grekova? I really hope it’s Franziska. For Clint’s sake.’

‘It could be anyone, really, Stasiya. Let’s just hope it’s not Anna Geoffrey. And also, it’s Francizska Kowalska. She’s Polish.’

‘Ugh. Don’t remind me. Geoffrey can go choke. Thank God she’s HYDRA, not S.H.I.E.L.D.’

Clint tumbled out of his chair with laughter. ‘Nat’s coming over tomorrow. Pretty sure you’ll figure it out.’

Clint’s _other Russian sister_ came the next morning before either of the children were up. Banner, whom Darcy quickly realised, was _Dr Bruce Banner_ , the reason she went to Culver. But she didn’t get to catch Natasha’s face before she ran over to punch Clint and fist bump Laura. Clint declared that he would like his sisters to meet, and they both looked up.

‘Stasiya?’

‘Talia?’

Konstantin’s jaw dropped.

Darcy flew to her, and Clint tried to stop her because _come on_ , Natasha _doesn’t hug_ , but Nat shove him out of the way and gave her little _sestra_ the biggest bear hug ever. She buried her head in Darcy’s (slightly) lower shoulder and let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like a sob, and Clint stared in awe because _come on_ , Natasha _doesn’t cry_.

Natasha lifted her head and patted Darcy’s cheek. ‘It’s been a long time, cестра, a very long time. I missed you so much.’

‘I missed you too. I wanted to die, at some points. Mama was harsh, and Papa was indifferent, and I really hated this killing machine thing. And then I helped Stantin run away and I was all alone. But I still had to kill these people, some guilty, but others innocent. I didn’t know what to do. The people I killed, Talia, I _killed_ people! Does that – does that make me a monster?’

There were sniffles and Natasha guided her to the sofa. ‘Nope, you’re not. You were like any other human being forced to take orders. And you were a kid. It was not exactly your fault.’

‘But I obeyed even when I knew it was wrong. I can’t live with that sin, Talia, you know that.’

‘You were under your parents’ control. It wasn’t up to you to say. Now that you’re with S.H.I.E.L.D. you can rewrite that. That’s wat I did, and I killed so much more people than you. We’ll be okay, Stasiya, I promise. We’ll all be okay.’ And she turned to Konstantin, ‘Wonderful to see you again, Stantin. I heard about you joining S.H.I.E.L.D. a few years back, but I never got the chance to go see you. Are you okay where you are? Anyone bullying you? I can have them sent away, you know.’

Clint snorts. ‘I’m not going to forget about the time you sent Aliena from Accounts to Greenland. That was terrible and hilarious at the same time.’

‘I think I want to know that story,’ Laura said, taking a gulp of her coffee.

‘So plot synopsis, she suggested that she join the “Romanoff-Barton” to form a threesome and very suggestively tried to seduce Nat. Emphasis on tried,’ Clint replied animatedly, hands falling everywhere and making Darcy laugh.

‘Apparently she was unaware of the existence of a Barton clan,’ Natasha added, ruffling Banner’s hair.

‘Introduce us?’ Konstantin suggested, sensing an awkward silence.

‘Oh, I totally forgot. No offence Bruce. Stasiya, Stantin, Doctor Bruce Banner; Bruce, my cестра, Stasiya, better known as Darcy Lewis, the girl that tased Thor, and her brother, Konstantin.’

‘Hey Doc. Oh, and for your information, in case that’s why you look worried, no, I wasn’t there,’ Darcy said, laughing.

‘Where?’

‘Jane must’ve told you, you know, that I was in your class during your first Hulk out? I wasn’t there. I was in Russia, in a dress the colour of bubble-gum at a cousin’s wedding. A cousin I didn’t even know I had.’

‘Oh, I she didn’t tell me, but I remember you from Chemistry. The girl who asked about _Bannerium_.’

Clint hooted with laughter.

‘You should have seen his face,’ Darcy said. ‘He looked like he was void of blood everywhere apart from his face.’

Bruce blushed, and Natasha ruffled his already very messy dark hair again.

_‘Hush now, child of mine_ ,’ Darcy singsonged, and Natasha raised an eyebrow at her. ‘What? I thought you either adopted him or you two are dating!’

‘Or are fuddies,’ Clint offered, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

‘Or are fuddies,’ Darcy confirmed, nodding at Natasha expectantly.

Natasha rolled her eyes. ‘No, we are not fuddies.’

‘What exactly are fuddies?’ Konstantin muttered.

Laura laughed. ‘My innocent baby. Fuddies are fuck buddies. Friends with benefits.’

Konstantin spluttered a little, while Bruce’s face (probably) looked worse than during incident Bannerium.

Natasha ruffled his hair again. ‘We’re dating. So what, Clinton? Sue me.’

But said Clinton high-fived with his wife and sister. ‘Nailed it. They totally had some weird-ass shit going on.’

It was Natasha’s turn to blush. ‘How obvious was it?’

‘Obvious enough for Clint to notice,’ Laura offered teasingly.

Natasha ducked her head. ‘Fuuuuuuck.’

Bruce looked like he wanted to _die_.

‘You’re a blushing mess, Doc,’ Darcy teased and poked his arm with a socked toe.

He swatted at her playfully. ‘Don’t disrespect your ex-lecturer, who also happens to be the guy that turns into the Hulk.’

‘Your face’s still red.’

‘So long as it isn’t green,’ Clint muttered, and Laura kicked him in the shins. _Sans piti_ _é_ plus zero subtlety.

‘ _MOOOOOOOM! COOPER’S HOGGING THE TOILET_!!!’ _someone_ screamed from upstairs, and Laura sighed.

‘ _USE MOM AN’ DAD’S_!!’ Cooper hollered back, and Clint sighed.

‘Those little monsters,’ Natasha said to Darcy with a grin, and Hollered back, ‘tolerance, children!’

And then there was a loud shriek, and then a door slammed, and Lila came screaming like the little hooligan that she was, ‘ _AUNTY NAT_! Aunty Nat!’

_Oh shoot_.

Cooper came next, sliding down the railings. ‘Aunty Nat!’

Bruce tried to slip away and be invisible, Cooper came to him first with a jovial ‘Hey, Uncle Bruce’ and a great teddy bear hug.

After a very loud, very confusing racket, Lila was finally detached from Natasha, and the fact that Aunty Natasha and Aunty Darcy knew each other was explained in summary. Cooper then wedged himself between Darcy and Konstantin, and reached for the remote control. Natasha slapped it out of his hand, and announced that ‘Christmas Eve-eve is for planning, not TV.’

Thus said, Laura abandoned her spot on the arm of Clint’s armchair and left to the kitchen, tugging Natasha by the collar and Darcy by the wrist. ‘We’re baking. Gingerbread. Lots and Lots of gingerbread.’

‘And pie,’ Darcy called. ‘Tons and tons of pie!’

‘Make apple! And blueberry!’ Clint yelled at them.

‘I wanna help!’ Lila cried.

Laura rubbed her temples. ‘We’ll all need help at some point by the end of the holidays.’

Natasha slammed the door shut and cracked her knuckles. ‘Let’s get down to business.’

‘To defeat the Huns,’ Darcy sang.

‘No, Stasiya, we’re going to defeat the biscuits.’

Two batches of gingerbread men and three bags of exploded flour later, they finally managed to present to the class some two trays of gingerbread that barely grazed as passable in appearance. Bruce was gallant enough to try a piece, which earned him a peck from Natasha and a hug from Laura, and declared that despite its not exactly appealing appearance, was ridiculously delicious. Cooper and Clint were on it at once, and after the latter’s declarations of love towards the little biscuits and offers of marriage, Lila tried a crumb and beamed at Darcy. ‘But you promised pie, Aunty Darcy! You promised pie!’ and turning to Konstantin, ‘She promised pie, didn’t she, Uncle ’Stantin?’

‘I’m afraid if Aunty Darcy does make the pies your father shall have to marry them and you’ll have pies for mothers.’

Clint shut-upped them, and Laura fist-bumped Konstantin. Clint decided that they were a bad influence towards each other and asked for more food.

Darcy sighed. ‘Please don’t tell me you finished the gingerbread.’

Apparently they did.

‘Yea.’

What happened next I shall not disclose to the reader, for it was rather, I confess, violent, and an explosion was involved, though no one was in danger of turning green. The rest I leave to the reader’s imagination, and may the reader’s head not combust from imagining such extremely ridiculous scenes.

Christmas was a relatively humble affair. There was a roasted turkey from the farm with rosemary and cheese (courtesy of Laura Barton), gingerbread, pie and other bake goods (à la Anastasiya Rasputina), salad (thanks, Clint), the best mashed potato any of the Bartons had ever tasted (‘Where did you even learn to do that, Stantin? Does Nick Fury cook?’), a decent portion of pasta (Bruce being the only sane person left), and an assortment of Russian alcohol (‘Greatest respects to our Russian All Mother, Natalia Alianovna Romanova’).

They laughed and talked, and Darcy felt much happier than she had un more than fifteen years. It startled her, actually, the fact that she found a family in these people. A _family_. She never thought she could have that. Her parents never actually gave her the feeling of having a family. She figured it was why she felt no grief when the news came, and why she so readily gave up her identity for S.H.I.E.L.D. It was bizarre, really, that of all people and places, she would find a family there. Lila nudged into her side and nuzzled against her arm. This she could never belief. She was a monster who killed and killed without remorse, and now she had the most innocent little child pressed against her side, calling her ‘Aunty Darcy’ and declaring that she was the ‘greatest baker in the entire world’.

‘Stasiya, Stasiya? Earth to Anastasiya?’ she heard someone call, but she couldn’t recognise nor respond to it. She was too deep in her reverie to snap so rapidly back into reality.

‘You’re crying,’ Konstantin said bluntly, and while Laura hissed at him, Lila looked up at her.

‘Why are you crying, Aunty Darcy? Do we upset you?’

She didn’t even notice the tears trailing down her pale cheeks.

‘No, I was thinking of – of –’ and now she couldn’t continue, tears rushing past her control.

Natasha bended over her and patted her rm. ‘You are agitated. Perhaps you should rest, Stasiya.’

‘No, no, it’s just – overwhelming, that’s all.’

‘What is?’

‘That I’m here, that – you’re all here, that we’re celebrating Christmas like a family, like the dysfunctional family that I would give my life for, but never had to luck to get.’

Clint clambered over, resting his palm on her forearm, he said, gravely yet soothingly, ‘We _are_ family. What did you think I was thinking when I called you my sister? We’re sticking together, the Barton clan, Natasha, you, Konstantin, Bruce. That’s why we’re here. Nat calls you her sister, and Laura told me, last night, that you’re the best sister anyone can ask for. Hey with that face I’m judging that you’re about to say that you don’t deserve it, but we all know that’s bullshit, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise, ever. You’re one of the most kickass people I know, and despite all that mess in your life, like when your world literally blew up, I mean, your parent’s office literally blew up, you still managed to keep your shit together and remain sane. I mean, if I had a childhood like yours I’d totally be a serial killer by now. Point is, you’re worthy. I’m pretty sure you can pick up Thor’s hammer. And your past doesn’t exactly matter. As far as I’m concerned, it wasn’t your fault, and if anyone accuses you of being a monster, like you said that morning, _fuck_ them.

She cracked a smile. ‘Wow. Great pep talk. I’m so touched. And no, I’m not being sarcastic. Thanks though. And yea, shouldn’t have doubted that you’re a dad. Cooper and Lila’s real lucky to have you. I’m lucky to know you. We all are. And also if people still don’t think you’re sane because freaking Loki, they’re the stupidest people alive,’ and she patted his shoulder, ruffled his hair and stuffed a butterfinger into her mouth.

The tension was very quickly broken, the log cake was disembodied, and presents were handed out. Yells of ‘one more hour until boxing day’ rang out from the two children, and much to everyone’s surprise, they went to sit very obediently on the sofa in the living room, setting their presents on the coffee table.

Darcy was the first to laugh. ‘Wow. I thought they’ll be bugging us.’

‘Or they’ll turn the hands on the clock,’ Bruce muttered with an amused smile.

Natasha shook her head. ‘They did that last year and broke the clock. Cooper’s smarter than that.’

When the presents were finally opened and the two little rascals were ushered off to bed buy their favourite aunts, Clint placed two boxes on the table.

‘I remember Santa promising not to give presents to grown-ass adults,’ Darcy asked.

‘Santa didn’t send this,’ Clint said, with a sparkle in his eye. ‘Guess what, Agent Agent is alive.’

Natasha gasped, Bruce smiled and Laura grinned.

‘Um,’ Konstantin began. ‘What do you mean by “Coulson’s alive”?’

‘Are you trying to say Son of Coul was supposed to be dead?’ Darcy cried.

‘Are _you_ trying to say that you’ve known that he was alive all along?’

She let out an unimpressed breath. ‘I didn’t even _know_ that he was supposed to be dead.’

Konstantin looked like a very confused kitten. ‘He’s practically adopted me since the day I got into S.H.I.E.L.D., and no, I was never informed of his “death”,’ he said, making air quotations.

‘Wow,’ Clint breathed at last, after some moments of awkward silence. ‘Seems like we all got our Christmas present from Coulson huh,’ and he handed Darcy and Konstantin a box each.

Konstantin smiled when he saw a pair of new earphones and two letters, from both Coulson and Fury. He read out those ridiculously heart-warming letters and after everyone had finished sniffing, Darcy opened her box.

A squeal was let out, and presented was her long lost iPod and a gift card. And two letters, also from Agent Agent and Director Pirate. And also a new pen from Maria. She smiled at Clint and said, ‘I found myself so many families in the most unexpected of places.’

‘Those unexpected places seem to be the most expected places to find a dysfunctional family. Where did you think I met the Avengers?’

‘I didn’t realise you saw them as family,’ Laura observed, munching on a raspberry thumbprint. ‘I thought you said they were weird.’

‘They are weird, no offence, Nat, Bruce. Especially Tony, but that’s kind of exactly why I love ‘em. Tony’s my prank bro, if you’re unaware.’

‘You still prank on people? Seriously, Barton?’

‘Shut up, Konstantin. Convince me you didn’t help Johnson and May put that whoopee cushion on Coulson’s chair.’

‘Whoa, whoa, they blackmailed me. That thing was either on my chair or Coulson’s. Be glad only you and Sitwell saw.’

‘Fury totally heard it. I also heard FitzSimmons talk about it. Simmons was completely convinced that Johnson did it. She’s not wrong, though. But who would have expected the perfect, quiet, talented Konstantin Rasputin had a hand in it?’

‘I apologised, and he was chill, so no biggie. Unlike someone who spied on Hill and got caught and didn’t apologise?’

Now the spectators were already laughing like a pack of hyenas on the floor.

‘Oh my flying fucks. You two are seriously like children. And Stantin, seriously, whoopee cushion on Son of Coul’s chair? He kind of saved your life. Kay I get it, I get it, Fury did, but Agent Agent totally had a hand in that. Please stop looking at me like that,’ Darcy muttered, diligently plucking lint out of her jeans.

Natasha clucked. ‘She said please, Stantin. Stop staring like that. You look like a cat.’

Darcy got out of her seat. ‘I’m going to bed, g’night. And try to finish those thumbprints. They’ll taste weird by tomorrow.’

Christmas went like it came: unannounced and unexpected. They parted ways, Anastasiya and Natalia shared hugs and Darcy and Natasha exchanged numbers. Bruce promised future lessons in physics and Laura enthusiastically invited them around for the next holidays. Lila and Cooper gave them little doodles of them making a mess out of the kitchen and draping ornaments across the house. After that they returned to S.H.I.E.L.D. and all was well.

* * *

And then S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, courtesy of dearest Talia and the only Avenger Darcy had yet to meet. Apparently there were more than three ‘former’ KGB and/or HYDRA members in S.H.I.E.L.D. And apparently Fury, despite his over-paranoid nature, was not paranoid enough, and had the bloody nerve to play dead, like his friend, good ol’ Son of Coul. (Please, this is Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina/Darcy Lewis we’re talking about, and with her hacking skills and relationship with the director, this is totally _not_ fooling her.) And while she was no end glad that they got rid of the spies, she was now without a job, without a place to live, and with Fury playing dead, there was seriously no one who could protect her in this cruel world: Coulson was still playing dead to the public and he was busy protecting Konstantin, Natasha was busy hunting down Nazis and the Winter Soldier with Captain America and the guy called Sam Wilson who had wings, Thor as probably off-Earth, Clint had to deal with S.H.I.E.L.D. shit also, and Bruce could probably hardly take care of himself. So now she was jobless, and would be homeless in two weeks, and she had just enough of savings to last a month at most. But there was nothing she could do, and one gloomy, rainy afternoon she found herself roaming the streets of central Manhattan.

‘Darcy!’

Huh. There seemed to be someone calling her name.

‘Darce! Darcy Lewis!’

She turned and saw Jane.

Oh. My. Thor. ‘Jane. Oh my freaking Thor, Janey.’

The tiny woman threw herself at her and cried, ‘Where _have_ you been? You’ve been gone for so long, I’ve got so many things for you to hear.’

Darcy looked at her and sniffed. ‘You’re better off without me, I see. Look, Jane, I’m a complete mess, right now. I just lost my job, my kinda adoptive father just freaking faked his death and now I have nowhere to go. In another week and half I’ll be a homeless tramp.’

Jane stared at her. ‘You worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.?’

‘What other choice did I have?’

Now Jane looked a little sheepish. ‘Darce, I’m so sorry –’

‘No, Janey, don’t be. I was actually happy at S.H.I.E.L.D. I’m just sad that it’s gone, and I’m worried about my friends. Especially FitzSimmons. But mostly the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D.’s gone. It’s been my home, you know, especially since my parents died.

‘Your parents what.’

‘There was a – workspace accident.’

‘You seem completely chill.’

‘Considering that my mother was an evil Black Widow, I’m supposed to be happy that I’m finally not under their control. Also, can we not talk about this while being soaked in acid rain, and in public?’

Jane, looking a little shook, looked around her. ‘Right. Let’s get into my van.’

‘The same one that hit Thor? Yes please.’

When they got into the van, sufficiently dried themselves and started driving, Darcy pointed at Jane’s face. ‘How did you figure out it was S.H.I.E.L.D.?’

Jane scoffed. ‘Please. Some dude faked his death, you lost your job that provides an accommodation? If it isn’t S.H.I.E.L.D. I’ll be disappointed. And also, Darce, a Black Widow, Seriously? What else are you hiding?’

She sighed. ‘Bout time, Janey, bout time. Promise not to freak out. Sit down and buckle up. Okay, here goes. My mother was a black widow, a very evil one, and my dad was HYDRA. So yes, my family was double evil. And they trained me since I was three and apparently to be a spysassin. And yea, I did that. Long story short, my parents died the exact night I was supposed to sneak into S.H.I.E.L.D. and steal some things, which was stupidly unnecessary considering the amount of HYDRA goons in S.H.I.E.L.D. but anyway. And Fury caught me, like the bloody spy-pirate that he is, and kind of just hired me on the spot. I’m surprised that Director Paranoid Pirate wasn’t afraid that I’ll attack his not-so-secret secret government agency. And so I found my long-lost kinda adopted sister, a new family and my brother who ran away from home ages ago. Anything _you_ want to share?’

Jane’s jaw hung open for some very long moments. Then she snapped it shut and pulled over at a petrol station. ‘Don’t look at me like that. Claude needs to have dinner! I’ll talk while I pump!’

‘I can’t believe you actually adopted my love of naming random shit human names.’

‘Remind me why your taser’s name’s Nicholas again?’

‘It’s Nikola, and also, no, it’s classified. Also, Janey, you’ve got funding now, huh?’

‘Yeah. You’ll find it funny, but I work for SI now. And even funnier, I share a lab with Stark, and I even manage to put up with his bullshit.’

‘The man you yelled at about Thor hired you? Jane what the fuck.’

‘His girlfriend hired me but whatever. You know what, you can come with me as my assistant, don’t worry I’ll pay you and you can crash in my guest room. The Avengers aren’t exactly around most of the time so you don’t have to worry –’

‘I don’t worry about the Avengers, Jane. Captain America’s the only one I haven’t met and I’m pretty sure I hate him a lot for putting me out of my job, right now. But you know what, I’ll accept the offer. Better a scientist wrangler-babysitter than a homeless former level six S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.’

Jane smiled and started the engine. ‘Let’s go home.’

‘Yeah, just like the good old days.’

They turned a few turns and Jane pulled into Stark’s garage. Someone was fixing one of those ridiculously expensive cars, head under the bonnet with only his lower body visible. Jane kicked his shins and the dude yelled. He wriggled out of the bottom of the car and muttered, ‘What the hell, Foster.’

‘Get the fuck up, Stark. Meet my assistant.’

Stark stood up and looked at her. ‘Why hello, Lewis.’

‘Why hello, Stark. Blowing up cars as usual?’

He clasped his (luckily clean) hand on her shoulder. ‘As usual, indeed. Come on, Foster.’

And everything happened so quickly. She ‘met’ the resident AI, whose name seemed to be JARVIS, she met the Pepper freaking Potts, she met Stark’s assistant? bodyguard? driver? Harold ‘You-Can-Call-Me-Happy’ Hogan, she met Stark’s bots and she hugged Bruce. She talked and heard a lot and answered even more questions in a confused haze. And suddenly she was SI’s official scientist wrangler and Avengers’ PR manager. (The last part she didn’t exactly understand why, but she _did_ mention that she had a masters in political science so…)

‘Um what. Janey what just happened.’

Jane laughed. ‘You’re our official babysitter! Whoo hoo!’

‘And you’re going to manage the Avengers’ public image, because apparently none of us are sane enough to do it,’ Stark added, affectionately petting DUM-E.

Oh, Okay…?

Pepper Potts (who insisted Darcy call her Pepper) said, softly patting her back, ‘Don’t worry. It _might_ sound a little overwhelming, at first, but you'll be okay. The majority of the Avengers aren't here anyway. And Bruce is the least likely to get into trouble so technically Tony is your only problem,' she gave Tony a pointed side glance, 'but apparently he has a soft spot for you so I don't think he'll give you too much problems,' and she walked out of the lab, beckoning Darcy to come with her. 'But when Natasha and Steve stops chasing ghosts, _they're_ the ones you have to be worried about.'

'Of course they're the ones I'm worried about. I can't believe my cестра and Captain America put me out of job. Talk about sisterhood and justice.'

'Your…sestra? Are you talking about Natasha?'

'Yup,' popping the 'p'.

Pepper looked at her funny.

'Long story short she's known me all my life, and why I'm who I am right now is pretty much because of her, so.'

Pepper nodded pensively. 'So.'

There was a weird pause. 'Yea.'

Pepper showed her to her flat (she didn’t have to crash with Jane after all!) which just _happened_ to be on the Avengers floor.

'Why?'

'Why what?'

'Why _here_?'

'You're their PR manager, so.'

Were they seriously having this 'let's not finish our sentences and end them with "so"' competition?

'Fine, whatever. Can I move my things in tomorrow? I'm tired as hell.'

'I can actually send someone to fetch your things for you, but you probably want to pack yourself so you can either stay here tonight, and I lend you some pjs or we can give you a loft back to your S.H.I.E.L.D. flat for the night and send you back again.'

'I'll like to go back, thanks. I'd rather sleep in my own pjs and wear my own elephant slippers.'

Pepper laughed. 'Of course. I do that too. JARVIS, can you tell Happy to help send Darcy home? Also schedule for someone to fetch her and bring her things tomorrow. Noon okay, Darcy?'

'Yep.'

So she returned home, or whatever that should be called a shack instead of a S.H.I.E.L.D. flat, and packed. So she'd be working for SI and the Avengers and she'd see Bruce every day and probably never be separated from Jane anymore and probably see Natasha more than she would expect, as much as she liked to disappear to some third-world country, because Bruce. It was a happy prospect, and she was more than content. She stuffed her thing into the two boxes she brought with her when she first came to New York. She didn't have those little trinkets friends will bring friends after a holiday or any ornaments that would make a random S.H.I.E.L.D. shack look like home, but it didn't matter. She'd be with Jane now, and all was well.

* * *

She was trying to get Tony to eat at least one (1) Pop Tart when Coulson called her (with Konstantin's phone, so the greeting was weird plus awkward as hell). All three Science!ing people looked up at her when she asked 'Do I need to call you Director Coulson now?'

When she hung up, Tony gave her a very long look and asked, 'Is Agent Agent changing his first name now?'

Darcy snorted. 'Any objections on secret S.H.I.E.L.D.? Like, _secret_ secret S.H.I.E.L.D. HYDRA-free.'

'You're not elaborating on why a dead man was calling you.'

'You bloody well knew he was just playing dead. It was obvious as hell. I'm surprised that people can't figure it out. Fury is worse, though.'

'Thanks for the redemption of my intelligence. Why do you care about Fury, by the way?'

'I yelled at him the first time we met and we kind of have some unspoken but acknowledged figurative adoption papers right now?'

He spat out his coffee.

'Please refrain from looking alarmed. Coulson just called with my brother's phone.'

'They dating?'

'Lol no. He's practically adopted Stantin, and when S.H.I.E.L.D. fell Son of Coul too him first and ran. Seriously though? Leave the younger sister to fend for herself while you rescue the elder brother? Please.'

'Don't work for him. I'll give you your precious stable pay-check and everything.'

'Shuddup, Stark. You don't even pay me half of what I used to earn at S.H.I.E.L.D.'

'Not even half?'

'Dude, not even close. I was a level six, thank you very much.'

'Level six? Seriously? As far as I'm concerned FitzSimmons have been working there for years and they were level five.'

'One, I was a field agent who knew too much. Two, you know FitzSimmons?'

'FitzSimmons are presently Science!ing in the opposite lab, my dearest Miss Lewis.'

Darcy dropped the plate of Pop Tarts. 'The actual fuck, Jane! I explicitly told you that I was worried about FitzSimmons and you tell me that they were working in the lab opposite yours.'

Jane looked up, actually looking little sheepish. 'I didn't actually know they were there.'

But Darcy was already on the other side of the corridor, knocking on the glass or to FitzSimmons' lab. Jemma opened the door with a confused face and squealed. Fitz dropped his tablet and muttered an 'oh, blimey', but no one was exactly sure at the cracked screen or at the sight of Agent Lewis.

'Why, Agent Lewis! We hadn't been informed that you're here! Have you come to see Agent Romanoff? I'm afraid she's off fighting HYDRA with Commander Rogers,' Jemma rambled a little, waving at Darcy for her to come in.

'Ah, no, actually I came to work for Pepper. I'm probably going to be tour wrangler, if I can trust leaving the three along for more than five minutes. But yeah, that's why Pepper hired me in the first place. Wait, sorry, I have to go. I think the three weirdos are eating Pop Tarts off the floor.'

Fitz stopped punching at the keys of his laptop. 'Geniuses tend to do that.'

'You don't seem to.'

'Because I'm not a genius...?'

Darcy and Jemma shared a look. 'Bullshit.'

Darcy went back to the 'Genius Three's' lab, (yes, she's calling them that now) and yes, Tony had a Pop Tart in his mouth.

'What did I say about eating off the floor?'

'Sorry Mom,' Jane murmured absently, and picked up another Pop Tart.

She sighed a long suffering sigh, and wondered if she'd get grey hairs tomorrow.

* * *

She walked into the lab during lunchtime a few days later, and overheard Bruce on a video call with Natasha.

'Bruce, this sounds bizarre, but the Winter Soldier is James Buchanan Barnes.'

Darcy nearly fainted. ‘What. The. Actual. Fuck,’ she spat, making her way towards Bruce.

He looked up at her. ‘Oh, hey, Darcy. Nat, do you mind?’

‘No, she should know. Stasiya, do you remember the Asset?’

‘La, as if I could ever forget. He was more like my dad than my Dad.’

‘I figured, Anyway, he’s Steve’s bud. Your first kind-of-adoptive-dad is the brainwashed version of Captain America’s buddy.’

‘Iakov is Sergeant Barnes,’ Darcy finished, a little breathless.

‘Yes.’

Bruce gave her a side glance. ‘Do you need some water? You look terribly pale.’

‘No, thank you. I’d go make myself some Pop Tarts and have an existential freak-out. What even is my life?’

Natasha clucked. ‘As in what?’

‘My mother was a Black Widow, my father was HYDRA, Phil freaking Coulson kind of adopted my brother, Nick ‘Yes-I-Have-an-Eyepatch’ Fury kind of adopted _me_ , and now my childhood father-figure was Captain America’s buddy, and very possibly boyfriend? I need another bucket of coffee. Byeeee,’ and she backed out of the lab, into the common kitchen.

Honestly, though, what even _was_ her life?

Presently FitzSimmons stumbled and trotted (Fitz and Simmons respectively) in and Jemma saluted her. ‘Your geniuses finally eating like functioning humans now?’

‘I tod JARVIS to turn off their power of their machines so I guess it wasn’t fair play. But anything to keep my folks alive. What did _you_ do to poor Fitz?’

‘Pish-tosh. He tripped over a cable at the doorway. He walked perfectly like a normal person who hasn’t _not_ slept in three days.’

Darcy shot her a _look_. ‘Jay, Baby Monitor Protocol Number Three, power off in FitzSimmons’ lab every night at eleven. Tops. ‘

‘Of course, Miss Lewis.’

Fitz looked positively appalled. ‘Lewis, you can’t do that!’

‘Dude, I’m your babysitter for a reason. ‘

He grabbed a biscuit and went to sulk at the table.

‘You look like you’re about to fall asleep. Go to bed. Not even jane can last three whole days.’

‘I napped this morning!’ he protested, trying to protect his biscuit from being ripped from his grasp.

‘Leo, napping isn’t sleeping. Go up to your room, and don’t sulk, now, there’s a dear,’ Jemma said as she yanked him from his chair.

‘Stop speaking like my Mum,’ he muttered, now a little more drowsily.

Darcy sipped her coffee. ‘Yup. He’s sleep deprived.’

‘Oh, do stop that and help me get this mule on his feet!’

‘Jemma, I am not in need of sleep right now, and I’m almost done with –’

‘Shut up, Fitz. Go to bed, or no more cookies for you. ‘

He got up and slumped out of the kitchen. Jemma liked at her with awe.

‘Number one way to threaten scientists, food. Number two, power supply. By food I mean junk food, by the way.’

Jemma clucked like the mother hen that she was. ‘I won’t deny that. I do have a thing for uncooked instant noodles.’

‘The blue Cookie Monster-like thingy? Me too.’

Simmons fished two packets of said uncooked instant noodles from the cabinet and hauled one at Darcy. ‘Spicy Mamee Monsters at your service.’

‘This is why I love you, Jemma. Unlimited junk food supply.’

‘I know,’ and Jemma smiled at her, and (almost) all was well.

* * *

Natasha called her the next day, saying that Captain America was hurt, and asked if she could get Coulson to send some field agents to help out with the mess and the remaining HYDRA dens.

‘I can come.’

‘Stasiya, No. I can’t risk you. Ask for Hand, or even better, Trip. But you’re not coming. I can’t have you hurt.’

‘A trip to DC isn’t going to kill me. I’ll get Trip and FitzSimmons. Maria’s at SI now, and I can ask her too. And Talia, send me coordinates. Use your StarkPhone. Can’t risk anything.’

Natasha sighed very audibly on the other end. ‘Stasiya, I get your “Director Coulson just hired me I want to get to work” feels, but I really cannot put you in danger. DC’s a mess right now, and our Iakov just tried to kill people in public. You can’t come now.’

‘Talia, I want to be there with you. I want to help. I’m a field agent, Talia, and I live off danger. And about the Asset, Sergeant Barnes, Iakov, Bucky, or whatever – whoever he is right now, I’ll give the world to see him again, even if for only once.’

There was a stiff silence on the other end. Then a gunshot.

‘…Talia…?’

‘Stasiya, I have to go. Come as fast as possible. Tell Stark to send one of his quinjets,’ and there was a gunshot, then silence, followed by a ‘beep’.

She slumped to the ground and sobbed. Talia – she was _alone_ in DC. And she was _attacked_. And the _Black Widow_ needed help. That was not what she was expecting when she was told that ‘Agent Romanoff was looking for the Winter Soldier with Captain America in DC’. She imagined tears and between the two after she’d heard who the Winter Soldier was, and perhaps some angst-y quarrels like they always shared when Stasiya was little. But now it reminded her of what she used to hear when she passed the block where the Black Widows were trained. The girls turning on each other, bodies of the weaker children found tangled in their sheets, all the doing of their fellow Black Widows. They would call each other out for disobedience and fight without considering the safety of their opponents. Now it all came rushing back, and all she felt was fear, so like the time they locked her in the training room for being too close to the Asset, and all she could hear was girls screaming in the next room. She curled up on the ground and sobbed herself into an unconscious stupor.

That was How Tony found her, still sobbing but hardly coherent, half an hour later.

‘Lewis, Lewis! What happened? Get up!’

She grabbed onto his sleeve, mouth gaping and words hardly forming.

‘Miss Lewis had received a phone call from Miss Romanoff, and I’m afraid it has distressed her greatly,’ JARVIS supplied softly, as if not wanting to startle her.

‘You know Natashalie?’

‘Yes,’ she muttered, breathlessly, and after a few seconds, ‘remember to acknowledge me on the origin of that name.’

Tony chuckled. ‘Of course. Now, what’s wrong? Did she break up with you? Did she actually elope with Capsicle? Did –’

‘Oh my God what’s wrong with you? No, it’s in the news, I think. Captain America’s injured, and Talia – I mean Natasha – asked for help. I think someone just shot at her. I have to go to DC. Can you spare a quinjet and FitzSimmons? And Mar –former Assistant Director Hill.’

‘Take whatever you like. I modified your taser, by the way. But let’s just hope you wouldn’t need to use it. Do you need to tell Agent, or?’

‘No, no need. I just need to call Trip. And tell Clint. Help me tell Jane I’m leaving? I don’t think I have time.’

‘You need to rest. You just sobbed for there for hours.’

‘Just a few minutes, dude, no biggie. Wait, I need FitzSimmons.’

She scampered away with Tony hot on her heels, yelling ‘I’ll tell pepper for you!’

FitzSimmons dropped their work first-thing when they learned of the situation. Jemma was off to get Maria at once and Fitz started to dig for Trip’s number.

After half an hour of confusion, haphazard packing and Tony’s constant ‘come back safe you crazy kids’, Darcy Maria and FitzSimmons were finally gathered at the landing bay at the top of the Tower. Maria adjusted her gun. Fitz checked if his Night-Night Gun. Jemma and Darcy checked their respective tasers.

‘How do you work this thing?’

‘Aim at target and push button. My old one did that, at least.’

‘Oh. Let’s just hope we won’t need to use it.’

Maria checked her StarkPad. ‘Trip’s in Minnesota. We’re picking him up.’

Fitz looked out from the cockpit. ‘Are you guys ready?’

No one answered him, and he took that as an encouragement and took off. Jemma and Darcy, like the tach geeks that they were started hacking files (again). Maria tracked Natasha’s phone, and after a few minutes of staring reluctantly declared that she seemed to be in combat. Darcy managed to get into a HYDRA file using her father’s information. Which happened to be a file on the Winter Soldier.

‘Guys, come look at this.’

Thy had just finished reading the file when they got to Coulson’s safe house that Trip was presently occupying. He hugged everyone and gave Maria a salute, then disappeared into the cockpit with Fitz.

Jemma put the tablet away with a look of disgust. ‘Why would anyone do that to a person?’

‘Because they’re HYDRA, that’s why.’

‘You just said that you knew him –’

‘From the KGB. I know him as the Asset, as _Iakov_ , a man, not a murdering monster.’

‘You were from the KGB? Darcy!’

‘My _mother_ was from the KGB. If my parents weren’t assigned to relocate in Maryland I would have been a Black Widow, I think. But different from my mother, different from Talia. They would have spayed me like an animal, trained me like a beast that needed to be tamed, –’

Maria shook her shoulders. ‘Darcy, focus. We can’t afford an attack right now. Come, talk slowly, try to calm down, and probably talk of what you can remember about the Asset, hmm?’

Jemma shot her a _look_. ‘Give her a little space, Hill. You can’t walk out of that nightmare of a childhood like you walk out of a destroyed HYDRA den.’

‘You won’t believe me,’ Darcy muttered, ‘but the KGB division is probably the last of my problems. Those ninety-nine problems I have? The whole HYDRA is like, a hundred of them. Since the day I was born.’

Jemma glanced at her. ‘Maths doesn’t work that way.’

‘Not the point. My dad was hard-core HYDRA, not just the KGB division.’

Jemma stared some more, and let out a shaky breath. ‘I might need more than caffeine to digest this. Your mum was a Black Widow who somehow wasn’t given a permanent birth control, and your dad was a Nazi part of the organisation who broke our S.H.I.E.L.D.?’

‘As it seems, yes.’

‘I need my extra-strong tea. Fitz!’ and Jemma walked away, looking utterly baffled.

Maria patted Darcy’s knee. ‘Don’t worry dear. You have us here.’

‘What if I meet him, and he doesn’t recognise me? What if he’d forgotten who I am?’

‘I won’t be entirely surprised. He didn’t seem to recognise Romanoff. And they brainwashed him again, so if he remembers anything from before that, it’s probably how to fire a rifle.’

Darcy – or was it Stasiya? – sighed. ‘If I lose him too, I’ll have nothing but Stantin a Talia left.’

‘You have Doctor Foster, you have Stark, you have Thor, you have Doctor Banner, you have Barton and his clan, you have Coulson and Fury, you have _us_ , the agents. We’re all here with you. If the Winter Soldier doesn’t wasn’t you anymore, I can vouch for you we’ll all kick his ass.’

‘I don’t know,’ Stasiya whispered absently. ‘He was like my father. On occasions I called him батюшка. He was more like my father than my father.’

Maria pulled her close. ‘We’ll pull through this, together. For secret S.H.I.E.L.D.’

Darcy grinned. ‘For secret-for-real-this-time S.H.I.E.L.D.’

Jemma came back with a tray of her extra-strong tea as they huddled together for the rest of their flight, talking about things that were completely unrelated to any of the reasons why they were on this quinjet in the first place.

After everyone had had their fill of yelling at Trip and Fitz for landing at the (former) S.H.I.E.L.D. building, they made their way to the (abandoned-looking) S.H.I.E.L.D. CARS.

‘Can we please not steal any of those? I’m not looking like one of those jack-booted S.H.I.E.L.D.R.A. thugs,’ Darcy declared, staring at the assorted black cars.

Fitz was already jumpstarting the car. ‘We don’t exactly have a choice, unless we’re stealing cars in the streets.’

‘Doesn’t S.H.I.E.L.D. have at least one (1) normal-looking vehicle?’

Trip gestured to a lorry. ‘If that’s what you expected.’

‘the lot of us aren’t going to fit in that lorry, Trip,’ Jemma called, using her taser to momentarily power the car.

‘A few broken bolts, curses and destroyed buttons later, the car was finally functional and Trip and Maria fought for the driver’s seat.

‘I’m not going to stop anywhere stupid, I promise, Hill! No one in this car has a death wish!’

Maria shot him a _look_.

‘Fuck.’

She grinned triumphantly as she climbed into the car, Trip scowling as he got into the passenger seat. ‘Romanoff’s about ten minutes from here. Probably still kicking major ass, but I think it sounded like she was in need of help, yes?’ se asked, nodding at Darcy through the rear mirror.

‘Apparently there were more HYDRA asses to kick than anyone anticipated.’

Trip hummed thoughtfully and continued stabbing at his phone.

Maria pulled over outside a destroyed Subway. ‘She’s in there. Her phone is, at least.’

‘HYDRA running a sandwich place? I wonder how many people died of food poisoning just after eating the beard,’ Darcy declared as she kicked down the door, taser and pistol in each hand.

Natasha sat at the counter, punching at her laptop and chewing on a pen. She looked up and raised a solitary eyebrow. ‘You’re earlier than I expected. Don’t worry, Stasiya, it’s a good thing. Let’s go back to my flat, yes?’ nodding at the others outside.

So the six fully grown adults squeezed into the small five-seated car, Trip and Jemma arguing over who hogged more space until Fitz had enough and lifted Jemma into his laps. Natasha raised an eyebrow at Darcy through the rear mirror from her place in the back seat. Darcy shrugged and said, ‘FitzSimmons in canon now, don’t you know?’

Trip frowned a little. ‘Wasn’t it canon since – day one?’

‘It was implied canon, not _canon_ , canon.’

The rest of the ride was relatively quiet, save the time a dude’s dog ran out into the middle of the road, pulling the man with it and Maria had to swerve to avoid them, with Trip muttering darkly about ‘Hill killing them all’.

Natasha’s flat, in reality, was not so much of a flat. It was a relatively bare studio with badly whitewashed walls and a very bare kitchenette. She bade them to sit down on whatever that looked sitable and began punching at her laptop again.

‘I don’t want to give anyone a heart attack, but,’ projecting her screen on the wall, ‘this was a real footage.’

Darcy wasn’t sure about what the others saw, but she saw her Iakov there, for a moment, when he hauled Captain America’s patriotic ass up. It felt strange, like finding something after losing it for so long, finally seeing someone that had gone for so long. She sighed, and whispered, words ghosting across the stilted room like a shadow, ‘бaтюшкa, my Iakov, what can stop me from coming to find you?’

There was a pensive silence, and at last Natasha sighed and went off to the mess of a kitchenette. FitzSimmons began to strategize in hushed whispers, Trip returned to typing on his phone, sending news to Coulson and Maria – bless her heart – softly wrapped her arms around Darcy’s shoulders and whispered consolingly into her ear. Natasha returned with a plan on raiding a few HYDRA dens lurking around town and getting Captain America’s ass out of the hospital.

So as-per Darcy’s request, Natasha and FitzSimmons went to smuggle a supersoldier out of hospital with the help of the Wilson guy that Darcy had yet to meet but was already impressed with for putting up with that much bullshit, and she went with Trip and Maria to kick ass, and make people cry with their condensing looks.

Three fast food restaurants (what was with HYDRA and fast food?) and around sixteen bundled, half conscious goons thrown into their stolen S.H.I.E.L.D. van later, Trip drove them to the hospital to pick up Natasha, FitzSimmons and the ‘two idiots’ (à la Natalia). Only Agents Romanoff, Fitz and Simmons were present.

‘Idiots decided to go themselves, so here we are, standing here like damned fools,’ Natasha declared, climbing into the van and giving one of the goons a hard stare. He whimpered and looked away.

Trip rolled his eyes so hard Darcy thought they might pop right out. ‘Honestly, if they didn’t do _just that_ I’d be disappointed. The commander never does rules. Man with the plan my ass. But I seriously doubt that they’ll be at the compound when we get there, just a heads up.’

Natasha clucked. ‘Nothing to be done about that. I can’t always play big sister to a ninety-five-year-old.’

They returned to the (very much former) S.H.I.E.L.D. building and unloaded their ‘prizes’ to be shipped and dropped off at Coulson’s secret S.H.I.E.L.D. compound (that was actually supposed to be under renovation). May was waiting for them there, looking both amused and unamused.

‘Care to explain, agents?’

FitzSimmons looked slightly guilty, but the rest returned her amused-unamused gaze. Maria raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Hill, I’m not a junior agent. That’s not going to make me cry.’

‘Darcy just gave a HYDRA nitwit a glance and he burst into tears. You might want to reconsider your “junior agent” comment.’

‘Fine. “Hill, I’m Melinda May and that _look_ of yours isn’t going to strike terror into my heart.”’

Darcy snickered behind Natasha.

‘Maria turned to give her a smirk. ‘Okay. Out of character is terrifying. Let’s get down to business.’

Jemma turned to May. ‘Did you drive?’

‘I took a taxi, but close enough.’

Konstantin as the one to receive them when they arrived. He nodded at everyone but the look he gave Darcy seemed slightly guilty. After everything was settled and Coulson had the HYDRA thugs suitably housed, he came to her.

‘…How are you faring, Stasiya?’

She looked at him over the rim of her spectacles. ‘Well enough. I get to babysit Tony Stark, Jane and Bruce, I get to work with FitzSimmons, I get to see Maria on a daily basis, I live in the Avengers Tower, what more can I ask for?’

He nodded. ‘I’m…glad you’re happy. I’m terribly sorry about the whole ordeal. I should’ve brought you along –’

‘If you brought me along I wouldn’t have found Jane.’

‘You’re happy at SI, then?’

‘You have no idea.’

He nodded again. ‘I found that the Winter Solder we’ve been facing is –’

‘The Asset. Our Iakov.’

‘How?’

‘Talia.’

‘Ah.’

And there was an awkward pause.

‘Mr Stark called some time ago. He asked if we would like to crash at the Tower while new S.H.I.E.L.D. is being renovated. Coulson agreed to it, and I just – thought you deserved to know.’

‘I deserved so many things, and most of them I never got. I deserved at least some punishment for all my sins but instead I got a family and found my family. Is that fair for the people who didn’t sin like me but lost everything?’

‘Life isn’t fair, Stasiya. It’s fair in that way.’

‘I wish I could rewrite my life.’

‘Nothing can be done about it, Stasiya. Life must go on, and I think – I think, if we go on like we did at S.H.I.E.L.D., we’ll survive just fine.’

‘We’ll survive, indeed. But at what cost, for what purpose? What can the world do with a murderer?’

‘Assassin, Stasiya.’

‘Oh, that’s worse! So _much_ worse!’

‘We’ll be alright: I can vouch for that. Only let us rest, rejoice and be merry.’

Darcy (or was it Stasiya, now?) sighed into her brother’s shoulder as he hugged her close. ‘I’ll do my best. I can’t promise to be merry, but I’ll be good, and hope that it’ll make up for my sins.’

‘Oh, Stasiya,’ Natasha muttered from behind them, making her way to her cестра. ‘Hush now, little sister, we’ll be okay. We’ll find Iakov and bring him home, and we’ll be alright, just like we were so long ago.’

‘So long ago, indeed.’

* * *

The flight back to the Tower was strained. Natasha and Coulson was arguing over why Captain America didn’t just break out of the hospital instead of waiting for S.H.I.E.L.D. to save him, while May looked on with an expression that simply said 'I'm so done with this rubbish'. FitzSimmons were sitting with the crew, everyone if them occasionally sending concerned gazes Darcy's way. It was as if there was some sort of unknown force pressing upon them, and no one dared say anything.

No one expected Tony to come receive them personally, but when the man, larger than life, stood on the rooftop, everyone seemed to look a little more relieved.

He went to Darcy first, patting her cheek and checking for bruises on her arms. ‘I heard about what happened in DC. If you think I’m letting you go off like that again, think again, kid.’

She leaned her head against his shoulder and sniffed.

He looked positively appalled. ‘Oh my god, oh my god, don’t start crying. You can go kill whoever you want for fun, just – oh my god. Don’t start crying.’

She pecked his cheek and breezed past him. ‘Oh, no, I’m not even mad. I’m just – glad that someone who isn’t Russian actually cares about my safety.’

Natasha, Tony and Konstantin narrowed their eyes at Coulson. He shook his head defensively. ‘I seriously couldn’t take care of everybody.’

Tony looked as if he was about to fire something at him. ‘You took her brother and Johnson and your crew and ran. You left Darcy behind to fend for herself. I don’t know what you have against Fury’s wards, but that kid has every right to be protected, just like the rest of your crew. I’ll have you know we’re guilty of killing her parents and keeping the kid safe is the last thing we can do right now. I don’t care if she was KGB or HYDRA or whatever, she’s just a kid and she’s just as helpless as anyone unlucky enough to be in her position,’ and he stormed away, probably to improve the lasers on his suit.

Konstantin raised his eyebrows at Natasha. ‘Did Stasiya just get herself another adopted father?’

‘As far as I can tell, yes. But that girl could make her way into the Asset’s heart. Tony Stark almost adopting her? Unexpected but not surprised. JARVIS, to the labs, please.’

‘Speaking of the Asset, any leads on the poor man?’

‘Afraid not. I think – I think – he’s avoiding us.’

‘Us? Us as in _us_ or the Avengers?’

‘I think he’s avoiding Steve a little bit more. I don’t think he knows that Stasiya’s with us now, to be completely honest.’

‘I bet if he knows he’ll be here in a minute. I’ve never seen him adore anyone more than Stasiya,’ and he paused for a moment. ‘Do you think we should use Stasiya as a bait?’

They’ve reached the labs by then, and three appalled ‘No’s’ screamed behind them. Konstantin turned to see Tony, Bruce and Doctor Foster glaring daggers at him.

‘I don’t think I’ve made myself clear enough, my dear sir,’ Tony said loudly. ‘No one hurts the kid –’

‘Stark, that’s her brother,’ Jane said, but remained her glare.

‘Does it matter? If anyone messes with Lewis I will personally go after them with the chainsaw.’

Bruce wrinkled his nose. ‘Why does that sound like the epic version of the Shovel Talk™?’

‘Brucie-Bear, did you seriously trademark the shovel talk? And contrary to popular belief, the shovel talk is not necessarily sexist. Let’s just say I have a daughter and her girlfriend comes visit, I’ll totally give her the shovel talk too. Unless it’s Natasha,’ Glancing at her, ‘I’d rather not die after being stabbed by a paperclip.’

Konstantin snorted. ‘Thirteen-year-old Anastasiya Rasputina killed a man twice her size with her thighs. I don’t think that chainsaw is necessary.’

Natasha patted his back. ‘But you can’t decapitate a man using thighs, Stantin.’

Here Konstantin Dimitrievich ‘Theodore Lewis’ Rasputin looked so positively appalled that the looked as if he was about to explode. ‘Stasiya was just crying about killing people, Natalia! How could you?’

Jane looked at them closely, then around the room. ‘I get that the late Mr and Mrs “Lewis” were HYDRA, but what are you guys not telling me? What is Darcy not telling me?’

Konstantin backed away a little.

Natasha gland warily around the lab. ‘Fine. Come closer and sit down. She told you about her parents being HYDRA, right? That part she was never ashamed to talk about. She hates it, but she’s not ashamed to talk about it. I wasn’t her choice. But –’

‘Talia, don’t you think it’s better for Stasiya to tell Doctor Foster herself when she’s ready?’

And Darcy was standing outside the lab, hands on her hips and tears in her eyes. Konstantin gulped and Natasha sighed.

‘I can’t believe I’m saying the, Talia, but _what the fuck_. You can’t just go around town telling people about my _phase that lasted twenty years_!’

Natasha had the good grace to look slightly sheepish. ‘I’m so sorry, Cестра, but we can’t keep her in the dark –’

‘Do you think I could have kept it from her forever, Talia? I was trying to do this like an onion, Cестра. You don’t just go up to people and say “Hi I’m the world’s most wanted serial killer save the Winter Soldier who happens to be my unofficially adopted father”!’

Jane’s jaw dropped. Tony looked as if he was about to adopt her, with real adoption papers, this time. Natasha and Konstantin just looked terribly guilty. Bruce seemed to be the only person who didn’t look like he was about to combust from fury, shock, compassion or embarrassment. So he made his way to her and gave her arm a little squeeze. ‘Hush, come. I’ll make you some tea and you can have some peace to yourself and rest a little, yes?’

He led her away, and Natasha bit her lip. ‘That really didn’t go as well as I’ve imagined so many times in my head.’

Tony kept his gaze fixed in the doors. ‘And I don’t blame her at all.’

‘I don’t think I can even if I wanted to.’

* * *

When Sokovia happened, Darcy was in DC with Coulson and the new crew. She sat in front of the TV with FitzSimmons, Daisy, Piper and Davis, frozen in shock as Tony’s creation – his pride and joy – his hope to make the world a better place – utterly destroyed a country, with the help of a psychopathic witch who messed with the Hulk’s mind. She couldn’t speak when Pepper called her, telling her softly to stay with Coulson and don’t so anything silly. She cried when Natasha (finally) called her, saying that Bruce was okay, but JARVIS was gone. But she wasn’t exactly sure whether the tears were for Bruce’s safety or JARVIS’ ‘death’. She didn’t know everything, and she couldn’t do anything. But she wanted to help. And when Coulson gave them the file, she was the first to pounce on it.

* * *

‘Where’s Darcy?’ Clint asked when he let his team in.

‘With Coulson. She’s safe where she is,’ Natasha said, giving Lila a kiss on the cheek. ‘We’ll call Aunty Darcy later, okay?’

Lila giggled and went off to give Bruce a hug and a kiss.

Cooper gave her a peck on the cheek and asked if Aunty Darcy was alright.

‘She’s very fine, Cooper, don’t worry. We’ll call her tonight.’

‘Yeah, thanks, Aunty Nat.’

Steve looked between them. ‘Who’s Darcy?’

‘Daughter of someone we killed,’ Clint murmured darkly, fixing his gaze on his friend’s face.

‘The name doesn’t ring any bells.’

He was ignored in favour of Thor’s loud ‘I head Lady Darcy is with Son of Coul. That is joyous news, indeed! She will be safe where she is, though I do not doubt her being able to defend herself. My lightning sister is a most independent and frightening warrior. If Loki could have met her he would have knelt at her feet.’

Natasha smiled at him. ‘That she is, my cестра. A very capable fighter.’ That was an understatement, but whatever.

‘I was not aware that you knew Lady Darcy, Lady of Spiders! This is very pleasant, indeed! You can go off terrorising the organisation of octopuses!’

Clint chuckled slightly. ‘I get that both my Russian sisters are very terrifying and are massive trolls, but can we please strategize a little? There’s a rowdy robot out there trying to destroy his daddy’s species.’

‘If his “daddy” didn’t think to make him perhaps he wouldn’t be out there?’ Steve suggested.

Everyone at the table except Tony gave him the stink eye. He shut up and stared at the file Laura shoved him when they settled around the table. Something about the woman on the front page disconcerted him. He felt like he’d seen her somewhere before.

He asked Laura that night, and Mrs Barton’s face turned a little dark.

‘Don’t ask, Steve. It’s not your place to know, at least from what Clint told me.’

So he went and asked Clint, and the only answer he got was ‘It’s not in her file, but her real name’s Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina,’ but it struck terror into his heart.

Rasputina. The daughter of Dimitri Rasputin and Marie Ivanovna. The daughter of the minds behind the Maryland den. The daughter of the people he killed in the raid. And she was _Natasha and Clint’s sister_. He was so fucked. Especially the fact that _Clint_ knew which meant that _everyone_ knew which meant _she_ almost definitely knew. Oh, he was so fucked, indeed.

* * *

When Darcy looked at those robots she decided that she should never leave the Scientists Three without adult supervision. If the news she got was right (S.H.I.E.L.D. gossip usually was), Jane would presently be in Tromsø (again) and away from danger, which comforted her slightly, but Tony and Bruce (or rather, the Hulk) would be fighting and she really didn’t want to leave those two idiotic geniuses to their devices when they were facing their own creation –

And welp, she got swiped right off her feet by one of those pesky, (literally) brainless robots. She tased it right in the ass. It gave a buzz, short circuited and exploded. Huh.

So she got out of the corner, caught a glimpse of Daisy and Yo-Yo destroying robots while Konstantin shot them with those weird bullets and felt comforted. She had only managed to break a handful of Ultron’s minions when she heard strange noises from an alley, and Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina, being the nosy asshole she was, went to see what the commotion was about. And…Captain America being attacked by robots was the last thing she expected to see. But as pissed off at him as she was, she couldn’t possibly leave him there like that she tased them, and…when Captain America emerged from the pile of robo-corpses, he scowled at her.

‘Miss Lewis, I understand you saved, me, but I must tell you that it was unnecessary and dangerous. You shouldn’t jump head-first into a fight –’

‘It’s Agent Lewis to you, _Commander Rogers_. Field agent and scientist wrangler extraordinaire. I saved your bloody life, and seriously, you’re the one to talk about jumping head first into fights?’ and she tased him in the ribs and he flopped to the ground, out cold.

She harrumphed and walked away. ‘Some first impression.’

She and Daisy chased quite a few robots to the edge of the city, made sure there were none left and went back to find the team. Bur what they came back to see was…not exactly what they expected. Hulk smashing things? They’ll be disappointed if he didn’t. Iron Man shooting lasers at robots? Please. Hawkeye shooting exploding arrows? Shouldn’t be surprised by now. But the Wonder Twins? Not so much. And Captain America trying to choke a robot? Both agents had to bodily restrain themselves from rolling their eyes.

‘I thought Commander Rogers might have had a little bit of a brain, but apparently not?’ Daisy whispered as she not-so-subtly judged his skills at robot-fighting.

Darcy squinted at the now destroyed robot. ‘If I ever feel stupid all I have to do is think of Captain America strangling a robot.’

Her companion snorted loudly. ‘Every time I kick ass I shall take care to remember the superior skills of the leader of our former STRIKE team.’

‘And I think that means now,’ Darcy whispered as more robots (how the actual _fuck_ did Ultron even do that?) paraded their way towards them. ‘I think we need backup.’

Backup turned out to be Clint, or rather, Hawkeye, and Pietro Maximoff, and as far as Darcy was concerned, they were of completely no help at all. She wondered at how could a boy who could _run very fast_ be of any help to destroy robots. At least someone give him a pistol. So she fished hers from her pocket and shoved it into the boy’s hands, and continued to fight Ultron’s minions with her taser and bare hands.

When Ultron was finally destroyed, she met Vision (whom she later discovered was the one who wrecked Ultron’s systems), who had JARVIS’ voice but was nothing like him. But she hugged him anyway, the way she’d always wanted to hug her ‘darling Jay’. Vision didn’t seem to be able to respond to such fondness, so intimately, even, merely stood there, straight and stoic. ‘I am afraid that I do not understand what is going on,’ he admitted into her hair.

‘Don’t worry, Vision, you’ll learn,’ and she pulled his head down and placed a kiss on his forehead, just above the mind stone.

Vision smiled at her and she decided that she would rather have a person who sounded like JARVIS and had his memories _and_ who she could hug and smile at.

* * *

She was walking back to the Tower after her coffee break when someone yanked her into an alley. She was about to tase the fuck out of the person, but what he said next made her drop Nikola do look at him.

‘Did you just – oh, oh, fuck, _fuck_. _Of course_ you’d call me Stasiya. Shit, abort, fuck, fuck.’

He squinted at her.

‘I should call Talia. And Stantin. Fuck. I should call Commander Rogers. Shit,’ she rambled as she stared at the metal arm in shock. It was oddly comforting, seeing it again, she realised.

‘Stasiya, stop. I just came to see you. I have to remember everything before I can go face them, but I couldn’t wait any longer to see my little girl –’

‘You’re coming back to the Tower with me. You don’t need to show yourself. I have a spare room; you can crash there. You can’t stay in the streets like this. I can smuggle you in, no biggie. I’m pals with the AI. You just need a little something to cover up Thing over there,’ she said, gesturing to his arm, ‘and probably tie up your hair so people wouldn’t recognise you immediately as the Winter Soldier? Hmm?’

He looked at her closely.

‘Hmm?’

‘Lead the way, Stasiya.’

She untied her cardigan and wrapped it around his neck, arranging it in such a manner that it covered his entire arm, and tied up his mess of hair into a ponytail. ‘There, look! You barely look like my Iakov! But not the eyeshadow. You need to get rid of the eyeshadow. How the hell did you get eyeshadow all over your face?’

He didn’t answer (not surprising, like, _at all_ ), so she started to wipe his face with wet tissues. She decided that she didn’t want to know that black stuff when it rubbed off without trouble. Because apparently that _wasn’t_ makeup (duh) and even the bloody thought of it made her gag. Let’s just imagine it’s dirt, okay?

FRIDAY didn’t question when they entered the lift, and thank all the gods of Asgard that the AI merely said that she would ‘not tell anyone about Sergeant Barnes’ presence, including Boss’, and that ‘the cameras in (her) room were deactivated, and so were the ones in the hall way for the next half hour.’

After (Bucky? Iakov? The Asset? The Soldier?) was settled in Darcy’s spare room (which admittedly was a mess), she fed him some leftover pizza and called Natasha.

When Natasha arrived, the first thing she did was to grab her friend’s ear and scream into it.

‘What the _actual fuck_! You ran away from Pierce, which I am completely okay with, but _no_ , you went and did things _fucking solo_ and I had to follow Steve across the globe to find you! And the damned stunt on the bridge in DC –’

‘He totally deserved it,’ (definitely Bucky) said smugly. ‘I died for a week and he landed a damn _plane_ into the ocean. I’m going to expect him to come back from DC with a wife and three kids.’

Darcy snorted. ‘Dude tried to strangle a robot. Not many more stupid things left to be done.’

‘Still wondering why I don’t want to see him yet, child of mine?’

‘Let someone else here you calling her that they’re either going to think you’re creepy or they’ll have daggers at your throat demanding if their precious Darcy really is your daughter.’

‘Oh, be quiet, Natalia. It’s not like I’m going to see daylight or anyone for some time.’

‘Stop bickering like an old married couple and call Stantin. Tell him to come over right after Coulson releases him. I need to go back to my scientists.’

* * *

Darcy wasn’t sure if Konstantin was glad to see Bucky, but when his face lit up like a lantern when his not-so-surrogate-father kissed him on the forehead, she knew everything was going to be just fine. They were all together now, the first family she had: and everything will be okay now.

Konstantin smiled more than he had in the last few years. While his days at S.H.I.E.L.D. had been happy, expressing happiness had been a risk. You had to be careful, every step you treaded. You couldn’t know when you would be compromised. But now he had his family: his _real_ family, and he knew from the bottom of his heart that everything will be just fine, as long as they stuck together, they’ll be safe. Their oddly formed family of four assassins would be just fine.

He wasn’t sure who he was, presently. He wasn’t Bucky: not yet. He wasn’t the soldier: this time he could actually control his own body. But who was Iakov? He was the little Rasputin siblings’ surrogate father, he was little Romanova’s friend, but who _was_ he?

‘If Commander Rogers sees you and calls you Bucky, will you answer him?’

He decided it didn’t matter at all. He was all of those things, and yet he was none of those.

‘They can call me whatever they want, Stantin: as long as I have my children with me I can be content with everything.’

* * *

Darcy discovered, by chance, that one of her father figure’s guilty pleasure was take-out. She wasn’t entirely sure that she should be amused that the former Winter Soldier liked take-out food, or irked that her father figure liked take-out more than her cooking. But she always took care to order whatever he wanted when she was too busy scientist-sitting to cook. But not Malaysian. Malaysian take-out _sucked_. ‘Authentic Malaysian food’ my ass.

‘No, Iakov, if you want Malaysian food go to Malaysia. Malaysian roti canai is flaky on the outside and fluffy on the inside. Not a piece of rubbery yuck. Malaysian curry is actually spicy, and not a bowl of red-coloured broth cooked from chicken stock. I am not ordering Malaysian take-out in New York, ever, and there’s that.’

And so when Bucky texted her about banana leaf rice when she was in the middle of what she was pretty sure was an epic Science! binge collaboration between the Scientists Three and FitzSimmons, she was actually glad that she didn’t have to worry about cooking today. And she still had half a dozen PR emails to send and an entire inbox to read. Cooking might have caused an explosion.

‘Janey, Janey, you need to stop Science!ing for at last half an hour. You have to eat! No, Fitz, coffee might be the nectar of Thor, it does not keep you alive. Tony, _please_ keep that soldering iron as far from that stack of notes as possible. Jemma, as I said, you need to eat and get some shut-eye. Will you eat something if I serve you tea with my mother’s posh-ass tea set? Please, guys, you’ve been Science!ing for thirty hours, just stop. I need my scientists alive and well!’

Nobody listened (of course, what do you think they are?), and she resorted to violence and demanded FRIDAY to cut all electricity in the labs. The lights went out and the doors opened. ‘Science!ing is only for good little scientists who know who to take care of themselves. And apparently you are _not_ mature adults who can remember when to eat, drink, sleep and go to the loo, Science! is banned for three days. Except for Bruce, who is a normal, functioning human, even though he hasn’t slept in twenty-one hours. Go to bed, the lot of you! That includes you, Doctor Banner! Go, go! Don’t come back until you’ve slept!’

That left completely no place for negotiations, but Tony, as much as he adored Darcy, hated the idea of leaving his project unfinished. ‘FRIDAY, can I –’

‘Override unrecognised, Boss,’ FRIDAY singsonged, and Tony could swear he heard of smugness in her tone.

‘Lewis, you turned my own AI against me! The treachery!’

‘Your AI cares about you, dude. Go off to bed. I’ll make you pancakes tomorrow.’

And she herded her scientists to their flats and Tony to his lift. ‘Go to your rooms and stay there. I don’t want to see you in the common areas before tomorrow. And no Science!ing.’

She went back to the lab, packed her things and left the Tower to buy dinner for her assassins. Five servings of banana leaf rice right up –’

‘Splash,’ she heard coming from behind her.

She turned. The man looked oddly familiar. And then she lost consciousness.

* * *

‘Where _is_ Stasiya? She went out to pack dinner two hours ago and she isn’t back yet. She’s also not answering her phone. Do something, Talia. Did Stark put a tracking device on her?’

Natasha paced the room. ‘Not that I know of. According to Doctor Foster, she didn’t agree to the tracking implant, but I’m not sure if Tony had put one in her phone or something. But we should alert Tony. If she doesn’t come back in an hour we’ll have to start a search party. Call Stantin.’

Konstantin was in hysterics. Her phone was untraceable (‘Stasiya would never let her phone be turned off!’), all traces of her were completely out of reach. Tony was alerted, and all it took was a minute for the entire Tower to go mad. Jane started to yell at Heimdall for Thor, Maria was already packing guns, Bruce called Clint, Natasha called Sam (‘because Rogers would _never_ keep his phone usable at all times’) and yelled at him and his ‘precious childhood hero’ to ‘get their brainless asses here, like, _yesterday_ ’, Coulson called Fury, who burst into a series of explosives and promised to ‘appear immediately’. A quinjet was sent to fetch Clint (because Tony insisted that his little Ford Fiesta would _not_ be able to reach New York before dawn), and after Natasha and Konstantin gave Tony a stare-down, he agreed to send someone for Fury from his island somewhere in the Bermudas.

‘FRIDAY managed to hack her phone,’ Tony declared after some five hours of agony. ‘It was turned off, not flat, and the phone is almost definitely in some basement in St. Petersburg.’

Natasha let out a shaky breath and Konstantin lost control of his knees and fell to the floor.

She sank down beside him, muttering, ‘Кak вы дyмaете, мы дoлжны привести Иakoв в этo?’

‘Нет, не сейчас.’

‘Почему бы и нет?'

‘Oн не готв. Дaй ему время.’

‘Can you guys keep it down on the Russian? All this is making my head spin. Fitz, can you try to connect FRIDAY to her phone again?’ Tony cried from the corner. ‘I should have given her that damn implant!’

The room erupted into a mess, starting with Bruce and Natasha yelling ‘It’s not your fault, Tony,’ to Clint frantically trying to pacify a sobbing Konstantin. Coulson got up and paced the room. Fury lurked in the corner and sulked. Everyone just seemed to burst into a shouting mess, everyone yelling and cursing.

Vision hovered gently towards Konstantin, and after a few awkward moments, placed a hand on his trembling shoulder. ‘do not worry, Theodore. Darcy is quite the fighter: she will come home safe and sound.’

‘Vis –’

The word barely came out of his mouth, when Thor and all his Asgardian glory burst in with Rhodey, Sam, Steve, Sif and the Warriors Three. Rhodey made his way to Konstantin at once, Thor went to give Jane a hug and grieve over his lightning sister’s predicament, Steve and Sam manfully went to face Natasha’s wrath and the other four Asgardians went to Coulson, who was standing, stony-faced, in the centre of the room.

‘We need a plan.’

‘So says the Star-Spangled Man with The Plan™ who never follows plans,’ Tony grumbled. ‘What do you think we’re doing?’

‘You guys are having a nervous breakdown, not making plans.’

Tony’s jaw clenched and unclenched. Pepper soothingly placed a hand on his forearm.

‘If you ever had a sister you’ll know exactly why we’re acting this way,’ Konstantin murmured lowly, so low that almost no one caught it.

Daisy gasped in mock distaste. ‘Oh my god, Konstantin! I can’t believe you said that to the dude who plays Captain America! I should be considered unpatriotic!’

‘Johnson, I get the attempt at humour: I really do, but no. I’m Russian.’ And that simply cut off the conversation like a freshly sharpened knife.

Natasha unceremoniously shoved Rhodey away and hugged Konstantin’s head to her side. ‘Don’t even try, Rogers,’ and to everyone else, ‘from the coordinates we’ve found, she’s almost hundred per-cent in HYDRA’s hands. Again. We cannot possibly be sure what they will do to her, considering she’s escaped once already. Which means you’re not coming along, Stantin. I’m sorry.’

‘Bold of you to assume that I would have let him go even if it wasn’t HYDRA.’

‘Clint, that was very touching, but I can defend myself just right. I was an Asset, if you’re not aware.’

‘You’re still not going anywhere near HYDRA. Iakov will not allow that.’

‘I thought we’re not bringing him into this? And thank you so much for trying to guilt-trip me!’

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Who is this Iakov, and why is this the debate?’

‘He’s my father,’ Konstantin said simply, and Bruce replied, ‘Because we already have the coordinates, and S.H.I.E.L.D. in St. Petersburg have almost tracked the place. All we need to do now is hunt down the den, get Darcy the hell out of there and blow the place to shreds.’

‘There are three dens in Leningrad,’ Natasha said slowly. ‘My bet is on Центральной. That’s where Stasiya was born.’

‘That doesn’t mean we’re not going to blow up the others too,’ Steve retorted with a frown.

‘After Maryland, _that’s_ what you can say?’

He fell silent.

Konstantin glanced between them. ‘What Maryland?’

‘The Maryland den, Stantin.’

‘Papa and Mama –’

‘Stantin.’

He bit his bottom lip.

At the other end of the room, Tony let out a hoot.

Konstantin went over to him at once.

‘They’ve got _Central_ surrounded. Get ready, folks. It’s all hands on deck.’

‘I’m not going,’ Wanda declared. ‘Not going anywhere near HYDRA.’

Konstantin barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Tony glared at her. ‘The last time I tried to keep you safe you shrieked in my face and tried to attack me. Now we need all the help we can get, so now’s your time to prove that you’re not just a little kid who can’t protect herself. We both know what HYDRA is capable of, and we both know that they’re going to do worse things to her.’

Natasha merely looked grim. ‘Yes, all hands on deck, now, everyone. Except you, Stantin. Go to Stasiya’s flat. You know the protocols if the Tower is in danger. Pepper will be here too, so don’t worry,’ she spared another glance at him. ‘No negotiations.’

He saw them off at the landing bay. He gave Clint, Tony, Fitz, Jemma, Daisy, May, Trip and Coulson a hug each. Bruce kissed his cheek and he told him to be safe with a pointed look, which Bruce returned with a soft one. He shook hands with Fury and Rhodey. Then he kissed Natasha on the cheek, whispering, ‘Iakov sends his dearest blessings, is deeply regretful that he cannot be there, and threatens to kill everyone in the Tower if you do not bring his Stasiya home in one piece. No negotiations.’

Natasha smiled. ‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

He bit his lip. ‘Be safe.’

‘I will, младший брат.’

* * *

She didn’t break until the quinjet took off, but once she did, she knew she was fucked. She couldn’t stop sobbing like a little five-year-old, and loudly swearing in Russian didn’t help, like, _at all_. Bruce tried his best to reassure her, Clint, Tony and Thor at the same time, when Thor’s strong façade faded and his fear for his little lightning sister started to show, really, he did, but to no avail. And Fury definitely wasn’t helping when he started to _fidget_ (what the fuck) and creases started to form between his eyebrows.

‘They’ve got her – they’ve got her, Bruce, and – and – they’ll be going for Stantin next, I can’t –’

‘No, no, they won’t, Nat. If they actually wanted him they could have kidnapped him years ago before S.H.I.E.L.D. fell.’

‘SHIELDRA and HYDRA are different, Brucie-bear,’ Tony interjected. ‘SHIELDRA was Pierce. HYDRA was Father Germany and Mother Russia. Father and Mother wants world dominance _and_ Anastasiya Dimitrievna and Konstantin Dimitrievich Rasputin. Pierce wanted world dominance. Difference there. I really don’t think those two crazy kids are safe anywhere on Earth, by the way. We need to keep Konstantin in bubble wrap and Darcy in alien armour.’

‘You know they’re not actually as young as they seem, right?’

‘Yeah, of course. HYDRA spawn gets a dose of the serum right after they’re born so that they won’t age as fast as normal humans. Please tell me that’s why Darcy looks like an eighteen-year-old and Konstantin looks like he’s not a day over twenty.’

‘Thank you for hacking S.H.I.E.L.D. again, Tony. And about the bubble wrap, Stantin is stronger than anyone would ever want to believe. You should give him little stuffed bunnies shoved full of explosives.’

Tony’s lips curled up slightly, just enough to be seen, not quite enough to be a smile. ‘We’ll see about that. Now let’s get your little sister back.’

She looked up and met his gaze. ‘She’s a fighter, my Stasiya. She’ll be alright.’

* * *

She was _not_ alright. There were syringes and tubes everywhere, and she was sprawled unconscious on the cold, stone floor, a needle still stuck in her right arm, dried blood stuck in the mess of brown curls. Fury, the asshole that claimed that he was too old for field work was the person to find her, ironically enough. His low, shaky ‘I found her’ sent everyone into panic. Fury was almost never shocked, or never showed it, at least, and the three world muttered with such terror let everyone know something was terribly, _terribly wrong_.

‘Fury, I’m on my way. Restrain yourself and don’t move her. Wait until Bruce arrives.’

When Iron Man finally blasted through the walls two minutes later, with Bruce hanging by his collar, he was already in a state of distress.

And Nick Fury having a nervous breakdown was kind of the last thing Tony wanted to witness. ‘Fuck. That doesn’t look good. Bruce, do your thing.’

While Bruce wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting to see, he sure as hell did not expect to see Natasha’s младшая cестра lying in a pool of dried blood with random, random things injected into her. And he could totally understand Fury’s distress. He also noticed that Tony had yet to open to his face plate, and that was saying _something_.

‘She still has a pulse, breathing, but barely. We need to get her out of here. Is Simmons near?’

Jemma came running through the massive hole in the wall. ‘Right here, Doc. I’ve got the oxygen ready. They’ve taken down the control room. I think Romanoff’s planning to blow this place up. We need to get out of here as soon as possible. Tony, I think we need a little help. Any way you can ask for more hands?’

Iron Man blasted away. Jemma and Bruce busied themselves with fixing the mask and checking for broken bones. Surprisingly, there were none. Fury crouched down and looked so pained that Bruce has to look up at him with a pitying look.

‘Are you alright, former Director Fury?’

He waved his hands a little. ‘I haven’t felt like this since – since – Carol.’

‘Carol Danvers?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Darcy’s a very special kind of girl. And she’s very important to a lot of people, especially Nat and Konstantin. And Clint and Tony and – me. Seeing here like this is the life embodiment of our worst nightmares,’ gently lifting Darcy’s head onto the stretcher, ‘but as we’ve all believed so strongly, she’s a fighter, and she’ll pull through this.’

‘I’m certain she will,’ but his eyes held concern.

Iron Man blasted back with Captain America. And of all the Avengers available, _he_ was the last person Jemma expected him to bring along. As far as she was concerned, Darcy _hated_ Commander Rogers and Tony knew it.

‘Tony –’

‘What are you waiting for? Get her into the quinjet! Romanoff’s going to blow this place to shreds! Chop chop!’

* * *

Natasha wasn’t pleased. Um, no, that was an understatement. She was positively livid. And blowing up Центральной did _not_ help. Every glance she spared at Stasiya she fumed and cursed for five minutes. At last she looked at Tony, standing in a corner, his suit still on. For some reason.

‘Tony? What’s with the suit?’

He sighed and the suit slipped away. His face was moist and expression soft. She was fairly certain whatever on his was not sweat because she was sure as hell Tony Stark would have installed an air-conditioner in the suit. She was about to ask when he sniffed.

Oh.

Fuck.

‘Tony –’

‘Shh, Natashalie, let me grieve in peace.’

Bruce got up from Darcy’s side and went to him. Jemma glanced up in concern. Fury bit his lip and ducked his head. Clint burst into tears. Steve just looked deeply uncomfortable.

He didn’t actually know Agent Lewis, but the last and only time he met her he’d almost wet himself. And he didn’t exactly want to imagine what HYDRA did to her to turn such a strong person into a vulnerable mess. And he definitely didn’t want to imaging how she grew up, once he remembered who her parents were. By comparison, he supposed, she would have been better off as a black widow.

* * *

Clint, Tony and Natasha were at the point of bawling by the time they reached the Tower. Pepper and Konstantin were waiting on the landing bay, fidgeting with worry.

‘I hope the absent quinjets are off destroying dens in Leningrad,’ Konstantin said shakily, his yellow head bobbing slightly.

Pepper didn’t answer, only paced towards the landed quinjet with unconcealed concern.

To say that Konstantin bore the news badly was … not entirely accurate. He watched in frozen terror as a weeping Natasha, a sobbing Tony and a bawling Clint got off the quinjet, a very grim looking Commander Rogers following with his very unconscious little sister in his arms, an oxygen mask attached to her face, dried blood all over her tattered clothes and hair. He couldn’t move when Thor softly asked if he was alright and if Jane was in the labs. He couldn’t react when Fury appeared and, to everyone else’s surprise, hugged him tightly and firmly. He only stood there, frozen in shock, even when Talia kissed his cheek and begged him to go down to the common room and sit down, and Clint, amidst his tears and sobs, told him to keep faith and go make himself a cup of tea.

He was the only one who didn’t go directly to medical. He sat in the common room, too shocked to do anything, too shocked to cry. He was absolutely, utterly, completely, thoroughly petrified. What if the damage they did to her was too severe to be helped? What if she wouldn’t wake up, just like the time they beat up poor little Inna in the Red Room and she never woke up after that? Stasiya was his little sister, and he was supposed to protect her. But now? He’d failed her terribly and now her life was in danger. He wanted to cry, really, he did, but the tears wouldn’t come. Then he decided that he should probably tell Bucky, even though he couldn’t possibly be able to do anything, he should know about what happened to his daughter,

Bucky … did not take it well. He shook poor Konstantin till his teeth chattered in his head and boxed his ears. Then he _stormed right out of the flat_ into medical.

‘Sergeant Barnes, I’m afraid that isn’t a good idea.’

‘Keep quiet, FRIDAY.’

FRIDAY wisely shut up and led him to Darcy’s ward. He slammed the door open and bellowed, ‘You will tell me whatever is going on here, _Natalia Alianovna Romanova_!’

Behind him, a frantic Konstantin was trying to get him to shut the hell up.

Steve looked up from his report. ‘…Bucky?’

Natasha looked very disappointed. ‘ _Iakov_ , we _talked_ about this.

‘Stasiya could have been killed!’

‘She’s not!’

‘How can you be sure? She’s still unconscious!’

And Natasha fell silent.

Helen came in with a report, a grim look on her face. ‘Natasha, I think you need to see this.’ She looked up, saw the fuming Russians and raised her eyebrows. ‘What’s going on here?’

Natasha pushed past Bucky, ignoring Steve’s spluttering and missing jaw. ‘Ignore them. What’s the matter?’

There was a pause. ‘They gave her the serum.’

* * *

Konstantin fainted. Bucky swore. Jane started to cry. Tony looked as if he was about to combust with fury. Clint burst into tears again. Fury’s face wrenched into an agonised twist. Natasha looked barely on the verge of collapsing as she clung onto Bruce, who was already as pale as a sheet. Pietro clasped a hand over his mouth to contain an astonished gasp. Steve looked shaken. Thor merely looked a little confused.

Helen glanced at FitzSimmons, and added with a grave look, ‘And twice as concentrated as the captain’s.’

Natasha let out a low, shaky breath. ‘Shit.’

‘Her wounds are completely healed. We’re still trying to figure out what knocked her out, considering the serum, and the effects of it, sans Vita rays. I think it might be best that –’

Darcy let out a choked noise from her bed.

Bucky reached her first, ignoring questioning glances from the non-Russians and not-Bruces, stroked her cheek, and whispered consolingly, ‘Hush, darling.’

Steve looked questioningly at Natasha, who shrugged and muttered ‘We’re all full of surprises,’ before scooting over to Darcy, Konstantin quickly trailing behind.

She couldn’t actually make out what was happening. She remembered being punched in the guts. But it didn’t hurt. No part of her did. And weirdly enough, she could hear Clint bawling. Definitely a dream, she thought, and drifted off, just before a large, rough hand came softly around her cheek, and a familiar yet unfamiliar voice spoke into her ear.

She opened her mouth and croaked. ‘Батюшка?’

He bended over her, kissed her forehead, and when he pulled away, she felt his tears in her hair.

‘Iakov, _please_.’

‘Hush, Stasiya. Don’t move too much.’

‘It doesn’t hurt. Am I dead?’

‘No, sweetheart, never. I’m here.’

She wrapped her trembling arms around his neck. ‘Is Stantin here? And Talia?’

‘Да, mышкa. Everyone’s here.’

The high pitched ‘ _What_?!’ she screeched almost made Bucky drop her and definitely made everyone else wince.

‘What the fuck, Stasiya!’

‘I told you to stay in my flat!’

‘Stasiya, calm down –’

‘Keep quiet, Talia! I made sure –’

‘Stasiya, come on –’

‘You too, Stantin! I –’

‘Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!’ Jane yelled from her chair. ‘Darcy, I’m not going to ask why you got kidnapped, because that’s stupid, but why the hell is the _Winter Soldier_ supposed to be kept in your flat?’

‘That’s a question I should ask, Foster,’ Tony said, a tired look on his face as he rubbed his hands over it.

Natasha sighed, declared that that it was a very long story and made everyone get out of the ward.

Clint, who had finally stopped crying, went over to give Darcy a hug and made her promise to tell him about how she smuggled Bucky into the Tower. She laughed, and called for Natasha to ‘kindly enlighten (their) fellow friends.’

Steve lingered at the doorway, staring at Bucky as he hovered over Agent Lewis, whispering lowly in a mix of Russian and – broad Yorkshire? They seemed oddly intimate, and he felt like he was intruding, but he couldn’t bear to remove himself from the room, with Bucky alive and well in it.

Bucky turned to face him. ‘Are tha’ – sorry. Are you going to stand there and stare at my girl, eh, punk?’

He wasn’t entirely sure which part of the sentence he found more alarming.

‘Your girl?’

Darcy snorted. ‘Iakov, please talk to your buddy and try to tell him that we are _not_ dating before he takes it the very wrong, very disgusting way?’

‘Under normal circumstances and if it wasn’t actually really disgusting, to think about it now, I’ll be really offended. And I doubt he’ll listen, lass. Rest. I’ll get Stantin.’

‘Aye, aye. And he’ll mother hen me worse.’

‘He sings better, at least.’

‘Can I have a hug?’

‘Of course, wee lassie. I flatter myself I give better hugs than Stantin.’

‘He’s all bones. Go catch up with your fellow old man. I’ll be okay here. Helen’s here to keep me company. Right, Helen?’

Helen poked her head around the curtain at the end of the room. ‘Are. Go enjoy yourselves, boys. I’m here to keep our girl busy.’

Do Steve led Bucky away, and Darcy turned to Helen.

‘Hey Helen, why aren’t you surprised that Iakov’s here?’

‘I had a hunch. I mean, FRIDAY monitors all life signs. When there was an addition I kind of got a little busybody and analysed the records?’

‘Under normal circumstances, I’d have yelled at you, but considering the circumstances I’ll thank you for not outing me.’

‘I think the others were all quite chill, except for Jane. And Steve. Any leads on why?’ Her tone was teasing, but the curiosity in her eyes and lacing her words weren’t half so innocent.

‘Thor probably heard from Heimdall. Natasha and Stantin knew, obviously. She told Bruce. FRIDAY lets Tony override protocols so I’m pretty sure she told him. Wanda reads minds, duh, and she tells Pietro everything. Pepper definitely threatened it out of Tony. Or Stantin. And Clint was probably too busy crying to notice.’

‘So they didn’t find out because they heard _sounds_?’

‘What – what the fuck, Helen. He’s my surrogate father. As I said, that’s disgusting.’

‘Huh. Steve looked pretty much convinced that you two are dating.’

‘I thought I just explicitly told Iakov to clear it up for his bestie?’

‘I thought you were pretending, y’know, in front of Steve.’

‘Please. Why would I even want to pretend in front of the man? I couldn’t care less about what he thinks of me.’

‘Girl, he’s Captain America! Everyone cares about what he thinks of them!’

‘ _Girl_ , I don’t want to keep reminding you that I’m Russian and by logic Captain America should hate me and vice versa. Also, You’re Korean.’

‘I’m going to ignore the latter comment. He doesn’t hate Nat.’

‘Lady, she’s like his elder sister. I’m the asshole agent that tased him.’

‘Hey, it was self-defence!’

‘It wasn’t, actually. I was just pissed off.’

Helen doubled over with laughter.

o.O.o.

Bucky rummaged through the fridge and handed him a pudding.

‘Stasiya made it. I promise it’s better than those they sell in those fancy, so-called pastry houses.’

‘So, Agent Lewis?’

‘My girl? Yes. Dating? No. Stasiya’s her own lady and can take care of herself.’

‘You know you’re not making things any clearer, right?’

‘My girl as in my kid. But then I hadn’t seen her since she was five or six. Suddenly she’s all grown up and not a cuddly little creature anymore.’ There was a wistful glance in his eyes, almost sad, almost lost. ‘The last time I saw Talia before we both left Russia was when she was eighteen. Sprightly little thing. Used to say that she was too old to be my kid, too young to be my sister. “How’s cousin sound to you, Iakov?” she used to say.’

Steve chuckled. He was rather grateful that Bucky was actually more willing to speak than he expected. The Russians seemed to have an effect on him. ‘What did you say?’

‘I said “hell no”, and we were “friends” from then on.’

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Bucky content with staring at his friend as he devoured the pudding that Steve _had_ to admit was _so much_ better than what he expected when the cup was handed to him.

‘Shit!’

‘What?’

‘I forgot to get Stantin!’ and Bucky flew across the sitting room to rummage through a pile of discarded fabrics for the ’phone.

‘Why don’t you just ask FRIDAY to tell him?’

‘He’s still afraid of the disembodied voice,’ Natasha mock whispered, Striding into the room. ‘Imagine the irony!’

‘I hate you so much.’

* * *

It took three more hours for Darcy to completely recover, but it took Helen and her minions a _week_ to finally let her out of her bed. And it might or might not have been because she threatened poor inters Tom and Bess with her thighs, and poor Elizabeth ran out of the ward, crying for Doctor Cho that she ‘did not want death by Russian thighs’. That would probably explain Helen’s amused look when she came to _release_ her.

She decided that she would like to cook for the team for their trouble in St Petersburg at once, and headed off to the kitchen.

‘Do we have any garlic left, FRIDAY?’

‘Yes, Miss Lewis. They are in the basket on the counter.’

‘Thank you, FRIDAY. You know I love you, right?’

‘Of course, Miss Lewis. And I you.’

‘You need to start calling me Darcy, Fri. We literally just confessed our undying love for each other.’

‘Of course, Darcy.’ She could swear there was a hint of amusement in the AI’s tone. ‘Would you like me to inform the team of your plans of dinner?’

‘No: let it be a surprise. Tell them to not order take-out today, that’s it. But please tell Jane to stop Science!ing and/or spending _quality time_ with Thor and try to be presentable. And so tell her to please were some shorts, at least. Ah, and tell her to _please_ keep her knickers out of the microwave. I’m not dealing with exploding microwave ovens whenever I take a few days off.’

‘Of course. Right on it.’

‘Lots o’ love, Fri.’

* * *

‘Helen let you out at last, Stasiya?’ Natasha asked from behind.

She jerked and nearly dropped the mixing bowl into the sink. ‘Whoa, Talia! Warn a girl!’

‘Sorry, cестра. Making dinner for everyone?’

‘Yep. Sorry for the trouble in Leningrad. I mean, if I didn’t forget to bring along Nikola I wouldn’t even have gotten kidnapped in the first place.’

‘It wasn’t trouble, Stasiya. It was proof that more people care about you than you think. I also got to destroy Центральной, so that’s a plus.’

‘Blowing up Центральной _was_ a bonus, thank Thor and Frigga and all the gods of Asgard for that. Can we talk about this tonight? I have to finish making dinner. And don’t tell anyone. Just tell then to come to dinner.’

‘The agents are out with Cousin, except for Stantin and FitzSimmons.’

‘I know. My love told me.’

Natasha raised an eyebrow.’

‘FRIDAY. We just confessed our undying love for each other. It’s a thing now.’

Natasha just looked a little uncomfortable.

* * *

And while all of them had moved into the Tower, they never actually ate in the same room, ever. Most of the time, someone will order take-out, leave it in the kitchen and the rest of the team will go and get their share. Other times, they just had to make do. So their PR manager standing by the unused dining table, hair in a messy bun secured haphazardly on top of her head, apron covered in flour and demanding them to sit down at the food laden table was a pleasant surprise.

‘What possessed you to do this, kid? I thought Helen just released you after you threatened to strangle Bess with your thighs?’

‘I’m just going to ignore most of that statement. Dinner is to thank you guys for saving my ass back in Le – St Petersburg, and to give Clint a treat before he goes back to Iowa tomorrow.’

Clint made an exaggerated ‘aww’ sound.

‘Now, sit down and eat!’

Thor gingerly sat down next to her, and said, in a surprisingly low tone, ‘Are you well, my sister?’

She understood that reference. ‘Oh! Perfectly. I’m always well, you know.’

He beamed at her, and said, after some moments of chewing, ‘’I quite like the hollow noodles with cheese. I would like to learn to make it.’

‘It’s called “Mac ‘n’” – Ahh!’

Wanda sprang up at the same time.

‘Whatever is the matter with you? You can’t just go into other people’s heads without permission!’ Darcy cried as she rubbed her head.

Opposite her, Pietro was doing his best to hold his sister down. Really, his efforts were appreciated. But the look on Wanda’s face could only be described as fury.

‘You dare say that? It was your parents who made me like this! It was you Rasputins,’ She screamed, lounging for Darcy across the table, that ruined my life –’ and she flopped to the ground, unconscious.

Darcy was standing still in her place, hand outstretched, blue flames firing out of her palms.

The entire table froze.

‘What the actual _fuck_ ,’ Tony yelled. ‘Don’t tell me those bastards did what they did to Wanda to you.’

Darcy – Stasiya – stared straight ahead. ‘Да.’

Natasha put down her fork. ‘ _Sirène_.’

Stasiya’s back shot straight up.

‘Anastasiya.’

She fell back into her chair.

Bucky rushed over to her. ‘Why did you have to do that!’

‘That was the only way to get her to calm down!’

‘The Siren didn’t have trigger words, Natalia. What if we let her out? Only Marie Ivanovna knew how to get Anastasiya back from Sirène, and she’s dead!’

Most of the other Avengers stiffened.

‘Watch yourself, and don’t let anyone come near my girl,’ and he carted Darcy back to her room.

Konstantin finally shook out of his shocked spell and ran towards the door. He opened it, stopped, and returned to his seat.

‘ _Hush now, child o’ mine_

_I know we’ll be fine_

_Don’t be ‘fraid to close thy eyes_ ’

Natasha looked shaken clamped her hand over her mouth, while Bruce looked shaken. Konstantin just looked like all his energy had left him.

‘ _Hush now, child o’ mine_  
 _I’ll be here with thee_  
 _And tha’ll be here with me_  
 _Come an’ see th’ bright future o’ thine_ ’

Natasha abandoned her dinner and went outside. ‘ _Hush now, child o’ mine_  
 _Can’t tha see that we’ll be fine_  
 _Look up an’ open thy eyes_

_Hush now, child of mine_  
 _Won’t you be my valentine?_  
 _I’ll wait here with thee_  
 _An’ tha’ll wait here with me_  
 _Until we see that bright future o’ thine_ ’

Konstantin listened on, whimpered a little and ran out of the room.

Jane looked as if she wanted to run too, but Tony shook his head. ‘Let the Russians deal with it. They’ve known her much longer than any one of us have. We’ll probably just make it worse.’

Pietro helped his sister off the floor. ‘You shouldn’t have tried to mind fuck her.’

‘How could I know that she had powers before I read her mind?’

‘You shouldn’t have even tried to mind fuck people,’ Clint said tiredly. ‘I could let you get away with it at first, Wanda. When you didn’t hurt people. But it happened again and again, and I’m not going to let you keep doing that.’

‘Why are we discussing Lady Wanda’s messing with my lightning sister’s mind instead of her accusing Lady Darcy of ruining her life?’ Thor asked, looking concerned, but not uncomfortable at all. Spats at the dining table were more than normal for him. It was people suddenly showing powers, accusing people of such treacherous deeds and having outbursts regarding murdering alter-egos that concerned him.

Tony stared ahead, steely eyed. ‘From what I’ve got from S.H.I.E.L.D. files, Dimitri Rasputin and Marie Ivanovna was in charge of the camp to create mutants. Nothing to do with Darcy. In case you have no idea, Wanda, her parents used her as a weapon, a killing machine, sent her out to kill and kill and kill, kept her shunned from the world. Not allowed to make friends, not allowed to stay at school past school hours, not allowed to date. According to Fury’s unofficial file of her, her first kiss was a lesbian she was supposed to seduce then kill. Second person she kissed was her intern in London who turned out to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. spy. Her kill count, to this day, amounts more than the Winter Soldier, and she’s technically a Black Widow, sans Red Room, sans sterilisation, and that makes her more dangerous, especially when her alter-ego, the Siren, _Sirène_ , is released. You heard Barnes and Romanoff. Her first real human connection since she left Russia when she was six, was Foster. Second was Selvig. Third was Thor. Fourth was Fury. You’re lucky, Wanda.’

Jane poked at her Mac ‘n’ Cheese. Helen frowned, and nudged Jane, muttering, ‘First’s the worst, second’s the best, and the third’s from the treasure chest. Heh, it fits.’

‘Wait,’ Clint shouted at nothing in particular. ‘First was Foster. Second was Selvig. Third was Thor. Forth was Fury. Do you guys see the connection? That kid’s entire life was a coincidence. What the fuck. Tony, we need alcohol to process this.’

Steve just sat there, only barely comprehending the conversation. He started to get confused as soon as _Agent Lewis mind fucked Wanda_. He completely lost his grip on the situation the exact moment he heard Bucky sing to her in Yorkshire, then Natasha following out singing the same thing, then Konstantin looking like he’d seen a ghost. But he’d given up trying to understand the Russians since he’d actually gotten to know Natasha. But Bucky singing in the Northern English dialect Monty used to mutter under his breath when he was mad? Nope. He needed more than Asgardian mead for that. He didn’t even care about Agent Lewis. He hardly knew her, and the few times he’d encountered her she was trouble. Not that he cared: it wasn’t like they would cross paths anyway. He didn’t know that much about Darcy Lewis – Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina – except that he should stay as far away from her as humanly possible, just in case she knew about the Maryland raid and her parents. He decided that he and Agent Lewis could not coexist, and that was that.

* * *

Darcy kept her powers hidden much better than anyone would have expected. She went to the labs, kept (potentially evil) geniuses alive, and managed team PR. She went back to her flat, made dinner for her (formerly evil) Russian assassins, and lounged on the sofa with them, making commentary on low-budget chick-flicks. A person who wasn’t a spy (or a _fucking telepathic psychopath_ , looking at you, Wanda) would not have noticed anything abnormal about the girl. But Steve did notice something weird about Agent Lewis. About how she walked as if she was afraid to break things, about how she had that faraway look when she sat during meetings, about how her blue-green eyes flared a little when she glanced into the distance, about how her small hands failed her when that happened. He shouldn’t notice, he knew. Agent Lewis was her own lady, and the last thing she needed was probably a problematic supersoldier discovering her weakness and feeling the dire need to acknowledge her father (figure) on the matter. So he stayed as far from her as possible, kept out of her way, did his best to not need help regarding PR, only hung out with Bucky when she was at work. The first time he’d directly encountered her was when she was sparring with Bucky, and she burst into the gym, demanding for her батюшка, saying that Tony would like to see him.

‘Will you stop publicly showing your undying love for each other? Tony would like to see if he can manage to get the Soldier out.’

‘That’s disgusting, Stasiya,’ Bucky said in reply regarding the former part of the statement. But he did send an appreciative glance Sam’s way.

‘Bullshit. I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve seen you staring at Sam’s ass,’ she declared, tossing him his bottle. ‘Stop pretending you hate the man. It’s not like I haven’t caught him eyeing _your_ behind.’

Sam spluttered water out of his nose. Steve had to physically restrain himself from collapsing with laughter. Natasha was outright _wheezing_ while letting Thor beat her. Darcy just looked incredibly smug.

‘You can deal with your stupid eye-to-behind ping pong later. Don’t want to keep the thirteen PhDs waiting.’

Bucky looked as if he was about to _die_ from embarrassment. ‘I can’t believe you just outed me in front of people that were never Russians. In _English_.’

‘That’s rather the point, isn’t it? Or do you need me to give you a little push, hmm?’

‘Ugh. Just – I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t mind fuck me like that bloody witch.’

Something flashed through Darcy’s face. Something like pain, something like fury, something like disappointment. She grabbed Bucky’s metal hand and headed off to the lab. None of the non-Russians saw her for a week after that.

* * *

When they _did_ see her, she was sitting in the common room, taking apart a remote control and putting it back together with her powers. Vision was sitting next to her, softly telling her where the parts went. He small hand found his, and she murmured, ‘Thanks, Jay.’

Vision didn’t correct her. ‘My pleasure, Darcy. Come, let’s see if you can do it yourself this time, mладшая cестра.’

She smiled up at him. Vision stroked a magenta-coloured hand through her curly brown hair.

Natasha smiled at the spectacle fondly. ‘That girl can charm a feral wolf into a lap dog. I don’t know why am I surprised.’

Darcy looked up to see half the team gathered outside the lift, looking curiously at them. She grinned, and said, laughing, ‘Look, батюшка, cестра, брат, I’ve got a new brother!’

Bucky patted her arm affectionately. ‘Of course, you charming little creature.’

‘Vision taught me how to control my powers. I just discovered that I can fix things! How cool is that? D’you think I can fix your arm?’

‘Oh God, please don’t. Keep those powers of thine as far from me as humanly possible, lass,’ Bucky cried in mock horror, exaggerating his broad Yorkshire.

‘An’ what has that witch done to tha’, Iakov?’

‘And what do _you_ have against Wanda?’ Steve demanded.

She sprang up from her place on the floor. ‘What’s not to have against her, in _my_ station, at least? Firstly, she mind fucked everyone and hurt most of the poor people in the process. Secondly, she _dared_ accuse me, accuse _Stantin_ of causing her pain. _Stantin_ , who wouldn’t even hurt a _cockroach_! I would like to remind you that I spent twenty-three years under their control, twenty-three years working for that goddamn _Nazi organisation_ , twenty-three years being treated like a fucking _object_. And I survived to tell the tale, so show some bloody respect,’ and she stormed away, Vision running after her, begging her to ‘keep calm, don’t do anything silly’.

But he did stop to glance at Wanda, and whispered, ‘Wanda, do apologise. Her situation is more awkward than yours.’

She nodded at him as he took off after his newly minted sister, the team looking at them in confusion.

Konstantin’s jaw clenched and unclenched. Steve glanced uneasily at him.

Natasha’s face was devoid of emotion. ‘Stantin, Iakov, let’s go. I’ve no idea how many times these people had ruined my good mood. I need to go find Bruce, then get you two children lunch. Come on.’

The entire group gulped. So Natasha was mad. You-provoked-my-sister-and-I-will-end-you kind of mad. And as far as they were concerned, that was her worst kind of mad. Which was saying something.

Sam glanced after them, murmured a muffled ‘shit’, and everyone scrambled away to busy themselves with _something_ lest Natasha find them and decided to busy _herself_ by giving them an earful. Mad Natasha was an increasingly terrifying thing. The last time Some asshole at S.H.I.E.L.D. bullied Konstantin he got vetoed to Buttfuck, Nowhere, Random-Island-on-the-Pacific. Some time before that she disappeared an agent for getting handsy with her baby sister. Steve himself was pretty sure she would chortle him with her bare thighs if he ever went three feet near Agent Lewis ever again. And to agree with intern Bess, that death by Russian thighs was not a very good choice of death. Not to mention that Bucky would probably skin him alive with that pocket knife Howard said HYDRA wouldn’t use. And Tony definitely wouldn’t hesitate to break out that chainsaw if he heard him ask that question. And he wasn’t ready to face what Doctors Foster and Banner, Fury, Pepper, Konstantin, Thor, Clint and Mrs Barton would have in store for him if he made the poor girl lose it again. He didn’t want to know it, in fact. He made a mental note to apologise to poor Agent Lewis if he’d ever see her again. Not that he wanted to see her, but still.

* * *

Natasha broke his nose the next morning. She also fed Wanda Vision’s deadly _Not-Paprika_ paprika infused soup. If that wasn’t avenging her little sister he’d eat his hat. Or cowl. Whatever. Tony ‘accidentally’ shot him in the guts with one of his new inventions while ‘testing’ his shield. And both Doctors Foster and Banner were glaring at him while Tony was at it. Then Bucky peppered his lunch. He probably also put something into Wanda’s drink because she refused to drink it. Coulson made him finish the paperwork Tony refused to do. Vision walked into him taking a shower. Fury made him run errands all day. Thor actively avoided him. Konstantin stayed as fay from him as he could. At last he literally ran into Agent Lewis, knocking her right off her feet when he went in search for food in the kitchen that night.

‘Bloody hell – What the ever-loving _fuck_ –’

‘Oh God, I’m so sorry – I didn’t see you there –’

‘Of course you didn’t.’ she grumbled, rubbing her forehead. ‘Why on Midgard would any sane person lurk in the dark like a damn vampire?’

He could only manage a strangled ‘Urgh’.

‘Not Twilight vampires, of course,’ she was saying. ‘What kind of vampires sparkle and speak in an American accent? Bram Stoker and Vlad the Impaler should take that as a personal insult. Vampires should be as shady as Nick Fury and as keen on scavenging for food in the dark as Steve Rogers, a’n’t I right?’

He hadn’t realised that Agent Lewis was such a massive _savage_.

She asked FRIDAY for the lights and began making herself a sandwich, John-Montagu-4th-Earl-of-Sandwich style. Two pieces of bread and a slap of ham.

‘Urm, Agent Lewis? I should apologise for my attitude? I didn’t know, didn’t understand. If I had been a little bit more – considerate I would have understood your feelings.’

‘We’re past that, aren’t we? Agent Lewis this, Agent Lewis that. There’d been too many thing happening that I’m quite sure we should be putting formalities behind us, a’n’t I right?’

He didn’t exactly know how to respond to that. ‘Can I do anything to make up for my terrible behaviour?’

She tilted her head at him. ‘What are your thoughts on baking?’

He grinned at her. ‘I have no experience on the matter whatsoever, but if you would care to teach me, it would be wonderful.’

She raised an eyebrow as she pulled out the mixer from the cabinet.

‘Swell, even’

She tilted her head back and laughed. ‘Charming as ever. Prove to me your sincerity by being a good student. I promise to be a better baker than a cook.’

‘You must be a damn good baker then, if you bake better than you cook.’

She smiled. ‘Flattery will get you nowhere. Now, grab that all-purpose flour for me, will tha’?’

They ended up making white chocolate and cranberry chewy biscuits because as it turned out, Steve Rogers had such a massive sweet tooth that even _she_ was no match for him. The man had managed to swipe half of the chocolate chunks while they were preparing the dough. Well, it wasn’t like _she_ didn’t nick a few when he wasn’t looking, but still.

They were giggling and scarfing biscuits by the batch in the dim kitchen lights when Natasha came in and destroyed all the magic. Darcy shot up from her place on the floor and began shoving biscuits into containers and labelling them. Steve diligently went to wash the mixing bowl and the baking tray. Natasha glanced between them and raised an intricate eyebrow,

‘What exactly is going on here?’

‘Baking. What does it look like?’

‘It looks like you’re bonding. Thank the gods of Asgard that the broken nose this morning was worth it.’

Darcy stopped mid-packing, looked up and asked amusedly, ‘You broke his nose?’

‘Not entirely surprising, cестра. Leave the packing to me. Go take a shower and go to bed.’

Steve glanced between them.

‘I’m not a child, Talia.’

‘You’re eighteen.’

‘ _Physically_ eighteen. I’ll be twenty-six in November.’

Natasha let a pained look flash across her face. ‘Forever, Stasiya. You’ll be eighteen forever, Stasiya. Do you know what that means?’

Darcy strode out of the kitchen. ‘That means, Talia, that I have a new purpose on Earth. I have forever to clean that blood out of my ledger, and forever to help people and contribute to society with my posers.’

Steve waited for her to leave the kitchen and get into the lift before turning to Natasha. ‘Forever is a strong word.’

‘It doesn’t make things less true.’

He squinted at her and he felt like one of those memes that Sam liked to send him during debriefings.

‘When I said she’d be eighteen forever, I meant that she’d be eighteen forever. Like you’d be twenty-seven forever. It’s brutal, but trying to make it sound less so doesn’t make it less of a truth. My sister, my sweet, innocent, naïve-about-the-world sister, to have her will ripped from her as a child, grew up to find a happy life of her own, only to have her entire life ripped, blood, gut, and all, right from her flesh! Hulk isn’t the only monster here, you know. Stasiya, Stantin and I. We’re all monsters in our own way,’ she buried her face in her hands. ‘The three of them are the closest I have to a blood family. I lost them once. I can’t lose them again – I can’t. Stasiya – Stasiya – she – God, I can’t –’

She looked so tired, so upset.

‘Never mind. I’m going to bed. G’night, Rogers.’

He only looked after her retreating form, feeling a little helpless. And helplessness never did suit him.

He didn’t hear Darcy sobbing uncontrollably against her door when he passed her flat.

* * *

Peggy’s funeral came and went. Only Natasha and Sam knew what he was up to. He returned to New York, locked himself in his flat and didn’t come out for two days. Darcy brought him dinner. She never asked questions, never attempted to use her powers on him. He felt comfortable enough.

When he finally emerged from his lair (as Darcy cheerfully dubbed his flat), he went straight to the kitchen. Food, he decided, was more important than anything, at the moment. He found Darcy there (no surprise, really), stirring at a pan of cherry jam as she hummed the tune of ‘ _Frère Jacques_ ’ in minor.

‘Are you finally composed enough to tell me about what happened in England?’

He frowned slightly.

‘I could have read your mind, but I hate it when Wanda does that to people, so I’m not going to do that to you either. So are you ready to talk, or am I going to wheedle it out of you?’

Tony stepped into the kitchen and helped himself to the coffee. By the looks of him, he probably missed some weeks of sleep.

‘Peggy died.’

Darcy stopped stirring her jam. Tony’s mug crashed to the floor.

‘No,’ he murmured, lips trembling.

Darcy rushed to him, without turning off the stove, and turned sharply to Steve, ‘And you kept it from us?’

‘Uh?’

‘How could you?’

He stared.

She didn’t elaborate, only gently led Tony out of the kitchen, whispering softly in his ear.

‘Uh, FRIDAY?’

‘I am afraid I cannot tell you, Captain Rogers.’

He sighed and turned off the stove.

What. Howard and Peggy were close. Almost as close as siblings. Tony – Tony would have known Peggy.

Shit.

* * *

Tony went off to Hampstead. He only told Pepper and Darcy, who cradled his head and told him it was okay to cry. He told her stories about his Aunt Peggy, about all the great things she’d done for him, about the great adventures of Margaret Peggy Carter, Edwin Jarvis, Daniel Sousa and Howard Stark. All she did then was hug him and rock him gently like a little child, telling him it was alright to cry and wiped his tears. He stopped sobbing after a few hours, called Pepper, who was in London, and asked FRIDAY to prepare for his flight. Darcy said nothing, only helped him to his feet and gave him a biscuit and a cup of coffee.

He came back with Peggy’s niece, visibly less stressed than he looked formerly. Darcy ran up to them and gave him a hug.

‘Better?’ she asked, smoothing out his hair.

‘Much. Do your Russian maternal instincts miraculously intensify whenever someone looks slightly sad?’

‘Maybe. I made blueberry cheesecake. Let’s go scarf it up before someone else does. I noticed Pepper eyeing it rather interestedly. You too, Agent Carter.’

She nodded. ‘Call me Sharon. Thanks for taking care of Tony, by the way. He doesn’t take care of himself whenever Pepper’s away.’

‘No shit, Sherlock.’

Sharon snorted _very_ indelicately. ‘Oh, right, I forgot you take care of five rouge scientists and three (former) Russian assassins on a daily basis.’

‘You don’t say. FRIDAY, my flat, please.’

Tony frowned. ‘If said cheesecake’s in your kitchen, why be afraid that someone will eat it?’

‘You forget that three Russians have unlimited access to my flat. Once Stantin and Iakov scarfed an entire pie I baked for Bruce’s birthday. Poor Bruce had to settle with a plate of haphazardly made puff pastries.’

They took the cake into the common kitchen. Steve was there sipping a – ew, is that asparagus? Gross – vegetable smoothie. Bucky was chomping on a protein bar.

‘Gross. How do you guys even eat that shit?’

‘We need to balance out the sugar you feed us, Stasiya.’

‘Still gross. I just wrestle with Talia and be done with it. You’d find me dead before I ever go near an asparagus,’ she glanced at Steve and gagged. ‘I need a lot of cake to get over this. I need cake, Tony, stop trying to destroy my cake.’

Pietro poked his head around the door. ‘Did someone say _cake_?’

Whoops.

And suddenly everyone was gathered in the kitchen around the island, eagerly waiting for said cake to be distributed. So the cake – poor little Blueberry – was sliced, distributed and demolished within minutes, with Pietro licking crumbs and remaining jam off his plate with exaggerated enthusiasm. Bucky was licking on his fork contentedly, his face the object of pure bliss. Darcy also duly noted that Sam was staring at him (very) fondly.

Natasha glanced between them, wrinkled her nose, and nudged Darcy and Bruce. Darcy turned and they grinned _very_ impishly at each other.

Behind them, Steve and Sharon were busy arguing about spying on him in DC.

Darcy shrugged. ‘I have a plan.’

Jemma heard her, turned, smiled appraisingly at her, and all was well.

* * *

Wanda fidgeted outside Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina – Darcy Lewis’s – door. But she never fidgeted, so she composed herself, smoothed out her shirt, arranged her hands and knocked on her door.

Bucky Barnes opened it, his hair – up in braids.

‘Yes?’

‘Um – uh – can I see Agent Lewis? Please?’

‘Stasiya’s in the shower. What do you want.’

‘I would _really_ like to speak to her. _Please_.’

‘You’ll have to wait. She just went in.’

Darcy came out from the shower in a loose white nightgown, hair twisted into an English sleeping plait. She raised her eyebrows when she saw Wanda sitting on her sofa, playing with her stress ball with her powers. Bucky silently left the room.

‘What are you doing here?’ not unkindly, but rather unwelcoming.

‘I’m so sorry – I mean – I came to apologise, you know, for going into your head and trying to attack you. And also for accusing you of doing such – things.’

‘It’s alright, I think. Now, just – I don’t know what I can do, okay. It wasn’t okay for you to attack me, but then you didn’t know the whole truth, and you acted on impulse. That’s understandable. But then you went into everyone’s heads and dug into their stuff. And not even Bruce – Bruce! – has recovered from being mind fucked back in Sokovia. So apology received, is being processed, results will be ready tomorrow. Care for something to eat or drink? I’m making night-night tea.’

‘You – you can’t sleep?’

Darcy smiled at her. An eerie little smile. One that made her look like the ghost of Maria Nikolaevna Romanova – for some reason – especially with her nightgown and her hair in the dim light. ‘In my dreams, Sirène comes out to play.’

Wanda stared at her, a shiver making its way down her spine. ‘What’s that mean, Sirène?’

‘Siren. Lures people to their deaths. Men and women alike. She never misses. Whatever she wants, she gets. Whatever – whoever she aims at, she kills. So tea?’

‘Yes, please.’

Darcy returned with two mugs of something sweet smelling. Her hair was slightly less harshly twisted than before, her nightgown falling slightly off her left shoulder. Her great, blue-green eyes stared at something over Wanda’s shoulder.

‘I’m going to call those “Darcy’s Saucers”, like “Marie’s Saucers”,’ Wanda thought. Darcy choked on air.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘You said that out loud.’

Cripes.

They ended up talking about their OTPs. Darcy’s, apparently, was Maria Nikolaevna Romanova of Russia and Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, First Earl Mountbatten of Burma. After that was Bucky and Sam. She called it WinterFalcon. Both made Wanda laugh and Darcy grin. Bucky heard his name and came out to point accusingly at his daughter. Wanda’s was Stephen Fox and John Hervey, surprisingly. ‘I can’t tell you the other,’ she said with a conspiratorial smile, and Darcy knew it involved her.

‘Do tell.’

‘No, no. You’ll kill me.’

‘I can just read your mind, like you read mine.’

‘Please don’t. I don’t have a death wish.’

‘So it involves me?’

‘Yes.’

‘So tell.’

‘I’ll tell, but you can’t murder me in my sleep. Clint’s got a pool going on and everything.’

‘Clint.’

‘Yep. He watches camera footage of the Tower every day.’

‘Ew. That’s not creepy, like, _at all_.’

‘Anyway, he calls it Operation: Starcy.’

She let the idea churn in her head for a few more seconds and her perfect poker face faltered and flushed pink.

‘What the – what the actual – flabberdoodle. We’re friends, at most. There’s still a drain between us, even then. I’ll like to keep our friendship that way at the meantime. Please and thank you.’

‘Pfftt, a drain,’ Wanda said with a snort.

‘What am I supposed to say? Dyke?’

That was probably a bad choice of words. Now all she could think of was that stupid dude Offa who dug Offa’s Dyke. And that was not exactly something she wanted to think of.

So she decided to start talking of her time in Russia, about how she was trained, about how she learned to speak broad Yorkshire, about when Sirène started to work, about the three months she spent in England on a data collection mission, about her visit to Offa’s Dyke, about what she learned the two times she was in England, that once when she was thirteen, and that once when she was twenty-three. She told the story of Offa’s Dyke, and Wanda, who had been listening with great interest, became a little mortified.

‘Eww, that’s disgusting.’

Darcy shrugged. ‘Anglo-Saxons. What did you expect?’

Wanda lit up with interest. ‘Tell me more.’

Every last thought of not forgiving her new found friend was now swept under the bed, and all was well.

* * *

Well, at least for the few days before she got a letter from Volgograd. Her dear cousin had managed to find out that she was living in the Avengers Tower, but had, for some reason, not managed to get her number. And also Дядя Alexei was dead.

She cried. Oh yes, Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina burst into tears while reading the letter. She sat on the sofa in the common room and cried until she got hysterical and started hyperventilating.

Steve was the one who found her, in the end. She grasped desperately onto his shirt, panting and grasping for breath as he hastily tried to dry her tears.

‘Breathe, Darcy, breathe.’

Her grip on his shirt loosened considerably.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Uncle Alexei – Uncle Alexei – he’s – he’s dead. Uncle Alexei’s dead!’

‘Hush! Calm down! Come, tell me, who’s Uncle Alexei?’

She relaxed into the sofa. ‘My father’s brother. He was one of the only two people who tried to save me before my parents died.’

Alexei Ivanovich Rasputin was never fond of his brother. When Dimitri joined HYDRA, he left Leningrad and went to Moscow. Dimitri remained and helped build a HYDRA camp in the middle of Leningrd. When he married Marie Ivanovna, Alexei was the only one to have anything to say against the match. Then he left Stalingrad again and moved to Volgograd. He almost entirely forgpt about his brother until little Konstantin was born. Olga was two, at the time. He tried to convince Dimitri that the poor boy would be in the way of his work, and to allow him to adopt the poor little thing, to no avail. He tried again when little Anastasiya was born, but Marie Ivanovna threatened to chortle him, and he left Leningrad for good. When his father died, he inheried the house in St Petersburg (they used the name again in 1991), but he stayed in Volgograd. That was where his Eleonora and Olga were, and he wouldn’t have traded them for the world. He met Anastasiya in secret when she was eleven, and while she wanted to go with him, had polotely declined and returned to her parents. He saw her again whrn Olga got married, and the young girl approached him, clad in a bubble-gum coloured dress, told him about the years under her parents’ control, and appologised again for not being able to go with him. And also for setting Konstantin free without acknowledging him. Ke hissed her forehedbefore she left for America, and he never saw her again, though he did manage to find out where she lived. And then he had, apparently, died of pneumonia.

He smiled at her. ‘I’m sorry. What about the other person that tried to save you?’

Her expression shifted a little. ‘Peggy Carter. Director Margaret Carter. She offered me a place at S.H.I.E.L.D. when I was seventeen. I told her I couldn’t, with my parents. Said she’d leave me a place, and I didn’t even have to go to that stupid S.H.I.E.L.D. Hogwarts or whatever.’

‘Peggy – Peggy tried to save you?’

‘Yeah. I –’

‘God, I feel worse for not telling you now. I –’

‘Well, you didn’t know. And I think I should go. Olga said she’d wait for me for the funeral.’

‘Do you need me to tell your brother?’

‘He’d take it better than me, I suppose. They never actually met. But Uncle Alexei was very fond of him, and he’d only seen him briefly, once, when Stantin was a baby.’

‘Go pack, and tell Tony and Pepper that you can’t babysit for some time. I’ll go pry Coulson off your brother. Do you want to tell Fury?’

‘I’ll tell him myself. I need to ask leave from Coulson too. Thanks for letting me snot on your shirt, by the way.’

‘Go tell Bucky and Natasha. I don’t think they’ll take it very well if you tell them last minute.’

‘Oh, don’t I know that.’

* * *

‘Keep a close eye on my six stupid geniuses,’ was Darcy’s parting words.

‘Six?’

‘And Helen too. Intern Bess’ back in school. The last time I left her alone with Tony and Bruce Ultron and Vision happened. If I come home to Starkbots with Asgardian tech I’m blaming you. Also remember to feed intern Tom. He Science!s so hard all the time that he forgets that he has to perform basic human activities. Which basically means you have to feed everyone in the labs, and make sure they don’t die. Good luck. Really, you need it,’ and she was gone.

Scientist sitting was going to be hell.

* * *

Olga was waiting for them at the doorway. Her little daughter stood behind her. She looked like she hadn’t aged a day.

‘Мышкa.’

‘Olga.’

She turned to her daughter, and said, softly, in the most immaculate northern English accent, ‘Tanya, say hello to Aunty Stasiya and Uncle Stantin.’

Darcy shared a glance with Konstantin. ‘Why hello, my dear. You must be Tatiana,’ she chirruped, kneeling down with outstretched arms.

Tatiana stepped out and gave her a hug. ‘Gwamps Alexei’s gone, Aunty Stasiya.’

‘I know, baby,’ she muttered into the little creature’s hair.

‘I’m sad.’

‘So am I,’ she said as she stood up, hoisting Tatiana onto her hips. ‘That’s Dyadya Stantin. He’s an awkward muffin,’ pointing at Konstantin. ‘I’m Tatie Stasiya. Do you know what Tatie is in Russian?’

‘Teтyшка. Tatie means Aunty and Aunty is Teтyшка.’

‘Good! Olga, when were you going to tell me that your Мистер Aшyopт is actually Ashworth? And that he’s from Northumberland, and you’re living in Berwick-upon-Tweed?’

‘How?’

‘Long story short, HYDRA gave me powers. And now I can read minds.’

‘Do I want to know?’

‘Probably not. They also made me sort of immortal. So I can’t age, like, _ever_.’

Olga looked so bewildered that it looked like it hurt. ‘Was that before or after?’

‘Just a few months ago.’

Olga huffed out a breath. ‘Those bastards.’

‘Language, Olga. Not in front of the children.’

‘My Tanya would never swear. Would you, baby?’

‘No,’ she replied, securing her fist on Darcy’s hair. ‘Dyadya Stantin, a hug, pwease?’

So Tanya was given to Stantin, the cousins were brought into the parlour, Aunt Eleonora was met and hugged, and kisses were distributed.

Aunt Eleonora was a pretty little woman with blue-grey eyes and greying brown hair, neatly swept, braded and pinned over the back of her head. Her lips seemed to be permanently curled up amiably, even when they looked rather sad. And if Darcy was in the mood for talking, she would say that Eleonora Feodorova looked exactly like she last saw her.

‘Sit down, Stantin. You look like a fool, standing there. My, how you’ve grown,’ the good lady marvelled again, pinching his cheeks affectionately.

‘Mother, the last time you saw him he was a month old.’

‘Olga, lovey, I’ll never forget these eyes. They run in the family. Look at Stasiya, look at _you_!’

Presently ‘Мистер Aшyopт’ came in with a girl, and bended over Olga and whispered lowly in her ear, who looked up, glanced at the girl, and beamed.

Across the room, Konstantin almost dropped Tanya. ‘Fran?’

‘Konstantin.’

Darcy sprang from her chair. ‘Franziska.’

‘Anastasiya.’

‘How – how?’

‘I think I have some explaining to do,’ Aunt Eleonora murmured, fiddling with her glove button. ‘Stantin, do you remember the house in Leningrad? I’m sure Dimitri brought you there before.’

‘Of course. I remember vaguely. I was – four, I think.’

Darcy gripped onto her chair. ‘Why?’

‘Come, Fran, come sit next to me. Fran escaped from the Red Room. We couldn’t keep her here in Russia. They’d find her here. But we didn’t have that much money, so Alexei – he – sold the house in Leningrad, and sent Fran to London,’ she gripped her glove. ‘’I think – I Think –’

‘It’s okay, Aunty, don’t worry, it’s okay,’ Darcy whispered, making her way towards the sofa. ‘Selling the house was the right thing to do. Last I heard, Papa was scheming for it. He wanted to turn it into a training centre for Black Widows in Leningrad or something of the sort.’

Franziska’s hand found hers. ‘I owe you Rasputins so much.’

‘No; you owe Uncle Alexei and Aunty Eleonora. I’ve done nothing –’

‘I heard about you setting Konstantin free, and I thought – perhaps – I could be free too. _You_ inspired me.’

And they sat there, hands clasped together, and it felt as if they found a long-lost kin. She could remember a time where she had nothing, torturers for parents. And now she’s got this family, dysfunctional as it was. It was almost terrifying. Almost – unsettling.

‘Do you need some water, Cousin? You look very pale,’ Mr Ashworth whispered, bending over her.

‘No – no. I –’

‘It’s quite alright, Cousin. Do sit. I’ll get you some tea.’

She glanced at Olga. ‘Girl, you struck gold.’

* * *

Uncle Alexei’s funeral went as smoothly as most funerals went. A simple prayer was read (he was never a religious person), a few more tears were shed, and the man was finally put one-point-eight metres under (or more traditionally said: six feet under, but whatever).

Olga wanted to go to Moscow before returning to (she finally admitted it, albeit rather grudgingly) Northumberland.

‘I want to see the museums,’ she said plainly, that left no room for discussion.

So everyone except for Aunt Eleonora left for Moscow, to see the museums, and the buildings that Peter the Great had _not_ built. And of course that was exactly where and when Victor von Doom decided to land his army of stupid Doombots.

‘What does that brainless nut even want in Russia?’ Darcy shrieked s she evacuated civilians and slammed the panic button Tony had forced onto her phone. ‘In Moscow, of all damn places?’

‘Apparently we’re bad luck magnets,’ Konstantin hollered back, dismantling a bot. He sincerely hoped that Tony wouldn’t try to make more Starkbots considering that his things had a tendency to run rogue.

‘Thank fuck that Tony’s bots are dumb!’

‘Stasiya! Is there any way we can get help?’ Olga yelled across the room, Tanya supported on her hips.

‘The Avengers are on their way, I reckon! But now we’ll have to do on ourselves!’

* * *

‘Wheels up in five, Rogers,’ Natasha said quickly over the phone.

He sighed. Trust the Rasputins to leave New York for a week and some idiot would go and fuck shit up.

‘Comin’ right up. Give me three.’

He was sitting in the quinjet and adjusting his cowl when Sam asked ‘Where’re we going, anyway?’

Tony put away his StarkPad. ‘Moscow. Doombots. Lewis’ having everything handled at the moment.’

Steve’s blood ran cold. ‘Darcy. In Moscow. With Doombots.’

Beside him, Natasha was _fidgeting_.

Shit.

* * *

Doom obviously did not expect Anastasiya and Konstantin Rasputin _and_ the Avengers to appear in Moscow. So said dude had to run with his proverbial tail between his legs.

And despite coming out with only one (1) little bruise, Darcy had to sit through a lecture about ‘fucking self-preservation’, delivered by half the present Avengers, and a long-ass debrief concerning one of her father figures yelling at her about ‘fucking self-preservation’, _and_ a lengthy phone call from Russia consisting purely of her aunt shrieking at her about ‘fucking self-preservation’.

So, no, her day was _not_ pleasant.

Thanks _so_ much, Doom.

Steve came to find her afterwards. He brought fried rice and very wisely kept quiet while she nursed her battered pride.

‘I must look pathetic.’

He stared at her.

‘I just wanted to help. I would have hidden if it was HYDRA. I’m not daft. Doombots I can deal with. I get kidnapped one time and people treat me like a little porcelain doll,’ and she shoved an entire spoonful of rice into her mouth to prove her point.

‘I’m quite sure you’re not. You’re one of the strongest people I know.’

‘Quite? Only _quite_?’

‘What’s wrong with being _quite_ strong?’

‘Is it how old people speak? If you’re trying to say that I’m strong, but _not very strong_?’

He thought for a long second. ‘Did you learn your English in England?’

She sniffed. ‘I learned it in Russia. Basics, at least.’

‘Words have different meanings in America and England, you know.’

‘God, I know. Here a boot is a shoe, and there a boot can be a shoe, or the back of a car. Same logic, I get it. I’m just used to _quite_ meaning _a little_.’

‘You’ve lived here the most of your life.’

‘Dude. I spent most of my life killing people across Europe. It’s not exactly American English-learning-friendly.’

He emptied his carton. ‘Point.’

She laughed, and all was well.

* * *

She flopped into the chair in Fury’s office. ‘So what do you want?’

‘That’s not how you’re supposed to speak to your elders, young lady.’

‘Ugh, just get to the point. I have six scientists to keep alive.’

‘What if I sent you to Cambridge?’

For spy work or?’

‘For your doctorate, you little terror.’

‘As I just said, I have six scientists to keep alive. Me getting a PhD at Cambridge isn’t exactly going to do the job.’

‘I have good people to keep your scientists alive and well. You’re going to get both your jobs back the second you come back. I talked it over with Stark and Pepper. Think about it?’

‘How are you so sure I’m getting a place at Cambridge?’

He raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Okay, I get it. Spy stuff. Level Eight spy stuff I’m not supposed to know.’

He continued to stare at her.

‘If taking the offer is going to make you stop staring at me like I’m an idiot, then yes, I’m going. Actually, I’m going either way. Give me a few months and I’ll be free to go.’

‘Good. I’m e-mailing you the paperwork. Pretty sure it’s nothing compared to your usual considering the general conditions of the labs. Not that I’d go anywhere near it, anyway.’

‘You’re so evil.’

‘The eyepatch does have an effect.’

* * *

‘So you’re going to Cambridge.’

‘Yes, Talia. I’ve repeated that three times already. Fury’s sending me to England for my doctorate courtesy of S.H.I.E.L.D.’

Natasha turned to Bruce. ‘Guess we’ll have to push it forward now, huh?’

He smiled at her, tilting his head in encouragement for her to go on.

‘We’re getting married.’

Bucky, who was just walking out of the kitchen with a bowl of crisps, dropped the entire thing. ‘Come again?’

‘Come on, Iakov, you heard me.’

‘Nah, he just can’t believe that you’re getting married before he even made a move on Sam. Anyway, since when, and этo девушка или mальчик?’

Natasha spat out her orange juice. ‘Stasiya!’

‘Never hide things form me. I’m just as much of a spy as you are, not considering my powers. And just answer the fucking question.’

A glare. ‘Fine. Since Ultron. And I don’t know.’

Bucky glanced between them. ‘I can’t believe this is happening. My children, all grown up.’

‘How many times do I need to tell you, _Barnes_ , I’m _not_ your kid? Stasiya’s your kid. Stantin’s your kid. I’m not. Get it straight.’

He put his hand on his heart in mock betrayal. ‘I can’t believe you would do this to me, Natalia! I loved you, raised you –’

‘Cut it out, Iakov.’

‘Not you too, Stantin.’

‘Melodrama doesn’t suit you. Looks stupid on you, even,’ Konstantin said, making his way into the kitchen. ‘Don’t forget to clean up those crisps. You know how Stasiya is about oily floors.’

‘You wound me, child.’

Natasha and Bruce just laughed.

* * *

‘So you’re going to Cambridge.’

‘Yes, and I’ve said that twice already, Steve.’

‘And when you come back you’ll be Doctor Lewis?’

‘It’s a tempting title, but Tony has _three_ PhDs and we don’t call him _Doctor Stark_ , do we?’

‘It sounds horrid, Lewis. We can all agree that Tony sounds much better,’ the man in question declared, squeezing into the kitchen and shoving a biscuit into his mouth.

‘I should probably just make people start calling me Miss Rasputina. Sounds so much more terrifying.’

‘Everything sounds scary in Russian,’ Wanda said, making her way into the kitchen and making herself comfortable next to the plate of warm biscuits.

Tony Hummed in agreement. ‘You could literally name your dog “Dog” and make it sound terrifying.’

‘Dude. You just gave me a wonderful idea.’

‘If you’re planning on adopting a cat and naming it “Cat”, count me in.’

Darcy grinned impishly at him.

Steve threw his arms in the air. ‘Remind me to never let Russians near Tony Stark.’

‘Too late for that now, Cap,’ Darcy called, looping her arm through Wanda’s and sauntered out of the kitchen.

* * *

Jane was the only one who didn’t need her to repeat herself.

‘Okay, so you’re going to leave me here with a stranger for a wrangler?’

‘I didn’t want to. But I get to finish my studies, Jane!’

‘Yeah, I know. I’m happy for you. Just come home often, kay?’

‘I have an entire family here. There’s no way I’m abandoning you guys.’

‘So we bring out the alcohol and skim crappy low-budget chick-flicks on Netflix?’

‘I’ll get the vodka.’

* * *

Natasha, like the good follower of the Orthodox Church that she was, actually considered converting to Anglicanism for the sake of finding a place to get married.

‘I’m going to stop you right there,’ Darcy said, holding up a forefinger. ‘Don’t. Bruce isn’t even Anglican. This is stupid. No one even does that anymore. You can just get Tony to marry the two of you. I don’t see the problem. Marriage isn’t even supposed to be a religious affair.’

‘Ugh, I don’t even know anymore. Wait, I think the “Tony-the-clergyman” thing is actually a good idea.’

Steve shook his head. ‘Stroking his ego isn’t.’

Everyone around the table glared at him. ‘Whatever you’re planning to say, don’t.’

He held up his hands. ‘Sorry.’

They ended up agreeing on ‘Tony-the-clergyman’. Cue classic literature references.

‘He’s definitely Henry Tilney. He even has the sass.’

‘So long as no one compares him to St John Rivers.’

‘And he’s definitely not Mr Elton.’

‘Don’t even mention that man.’

* * *

It was a pretty day; windy, but not too much, leaves falling everywhere. Well, the latter wasn’t really as fun as it was pretty, but at least it complemented the bride’s hair.

Darcy – or rather, Stasiya – was a weeping mess.

‘Stasiya, I’m not being married off to Zimbabwe. Stop crying. Please, stop crying. I can’t see you like that.’

‘I’m too happy! Do you remember a time, when we expected to be stripped of freedom and identity, never to find love? And look at you! Happy and well, nothing – no one – binding you! It’s proof that we’re actually free, and there’s no need to fear the monsters of the past. I’m –’

‘Stasiya.’

‘I know, I know. I’ll try not to think of that. I have a new chance at life and I should live it. I know. Don’t lecture me at your wedding. Go!’

Natasha gave her a pointed look, looped an arm through her sister’s and sauntered away, swiping Bruce’s muffin right out of his hand while he was turned away talking to Clint.

‘From now onwards, you’re limited to one single angsty about our shitty childhood a day.’

‘Okay…?’Darcy murmured, tilting her head and looking at Natasha over the rim of her spectacles. ‘What if I break the rules?’

‘You lose your baking privileges.’

‘ _You_ lose your sweet treats, stupid.’

‘Ouch! I’m doing this for your own good, Anastasiya!’

‘No yelling at me at your wedding, remember?’

Natasha gave her an insanely flat look that would have sent some other person running for the hills, but this is Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina we’re talking about. Darcy just smiled sweetly and ran off to bug Clint just because.

Mrs Romanova Banner looked around the compound and smiled. It sucked, even though it looked better than the Tower, and she was all kinds of glad that they only stayed there when extremely necessary.

They were all together, no one attacked, and everyone was happy, all was well, all was well.

* * *

Cambridge was _great_. The ancient buildings? Wonderful. The library? She could just live there for the rest of her life. Which was pretty much forever. Damn. If she’d known how awesome this place was she would have applied years ago. Not to mention that her professors were the coolest people on the planet, and she lived with actual, live superheroes, and Pepper Potts. It should be illegal to be this cool.

It was nice, really. She shared a flat with Fran and went to Northumberland every other week. She video-called the Tower every Friday night and watched movies with the team. It was like she never left the Tower. And occasionally, after missions in Europe, the team, sans Natasha, for obvious reasons, would drop in at her flat to check on her and give poor Fran a heart attack every time they appeared.

So yeah, being in England was great. Olga was one lucky lady.

* * *

Talia and Bruce had twins. Smack dab in the middle of Darcy’s assignment. Cambridge did have a con, after all.

‘No, Talia, you cannot name your daughter after me. That’s utter stupidity. Just – just name her something else. Maria, maybe. So we can have a full set of Romanova Grand Duchesses.’

Natasha sighed. ‘We won’t Stasiya. Your name is Anastasiya, for Saint Peter’s sake, not Anastasia. Oh wait, I can name her Anastasia. Less obviously Russian.’

‘Please don’t do this. If you’re going to keep this up I’m ending the call. Anastasie is fine. Just – just not Anastasia.’

‘Bold of you to assume I’m going to listen to you. See you soon,’ and hung up on her.

Wow. Just wow. Rude.

Milton and Anastasia Romanov(a) Banner. That had a ridiculously nice ring to it.

_Just roll with it._

* * *

Steve liked to drop in to check on her. Poor Fran was not so keen on those visits. She was oddly twitchy for a former Red Room candidate.

‘He’s a giant hunk of muscle and that’s terrifying, Stasiya,’ Fran murmured when Darcy asked _why in the world was she so afraid of Steve_.

Well, that made sense. Fran was a literal centimetre taller than Darcy and had less interactions with Steve than a normal person would have considering to amount of times they’ve met. That meant Fran was dealing with a practical stranger who was literal heads and shoulders taller than her, unfortunately for everyone involved. So yes, that made sense.

‘No more of that. I’ve visiting Olga this Friday. You coming?’

‘When’re we coming back?’

‘Monday. Probably.’

Fran paused for a while. ‘I’m free till Monday.’

‘Then you’re coming along.’

‘I have no objections,’ she whispered, closing her book.

‘Good. Oh, and I should tell you about that ridiculous crush of Stantin’s,’ Darcy said as she bended over Fran.

And if Franziska Kowalska’s expression was anything to go by, she had lots of secrets to spill.

* * *

Steve dropped by in Berwick-upon-Tweed. In fucking _Northumberland_.

‘FRIDAY, you bloody betrayer.’

Steve raised an eyebrow that had literally zero effect on her. She’s been on the receiving end of Natalia Romanova’s exceedingly camp look for God knows how long that she’d mastered that look herself. So yeah, she knew exactly which face to give a WWII veteran to make him cower.

He pressed his lips together, blushed, and turned away.

Ha.

‘Stasiya, Steve, come and have tea!’ Olga yelled from the terrace.

Ah, the joys of living in a nice cottage in the moors.

‘I’m not going to defy her,’ Darcy said, pulling her arms behind her. ‘Are you?’

‘And suffer her wrath? I think not.’

* * *

Darcy was having a fucking existential crisis.

Did she have a crush on her best friend? Maybe. Was she going to do anything about it? Nope. Maybe. She didn’t know. Steve was her best friend in the world (cos the rest counted as family). She wasn’t about to ruin it. Probably.

And that shit was bad.

So she did the next logical thing to running away: talk to Fran.

And though it sounded stupidly hypocritical of her to suggest ‘just tell him, silly’, but she did promise to talk to Konstantin the next time they saw each other so.

If she was about to do the thing then it was go big or go home, she realised. So yeah, Fran would probably get her killed. Or in jail, at some point.

‘You’re a terrible influence, Frances Keller.’

Fran laughed. ‘I do try.’

* * *

They sat with their feet dangling off the roof, looking out into town, where the lights were. She liked the moors. It was always peaceful and pretty. And nice-smelling. It always smelt of grass and the wild flowers and berries and the trees and the little somethings she couldn’t quite place. The town was always busy and bright. Lights on full blaze. It was alright in Manhattan, but she didn’t like the sounds in Berwick-upon-Tweed. It just didn’t fit.

She turned to Steve ‘How do you like it here?’

He smiled. ‘It’s good. Not as loud as New York,’ and he made a face which Darcy was pretty sure was that of a New Yorker who just betrayed New York. Then he brushed his fingers over hers, almost a caress, and she shivered.

She took it as a sign. ‘You can call me Stasiya, you know.’

He looked a little shocked. ‘Darce –’

‘No, really. I don’t go by it because it’s dangerous, not because I don’t like it. It’s a pretty swell name, Anastasiya, I have to give my parents that.’

‘Darcy. I don’ think – I don’t think –’

She bit her lip, stood, and ran.

* * *

Steve stared at her with a great deal of confusion. And after an inner tug-of-war with his head he ran after her, only to be ambushed by both Olga and Frances. Not that he’d never had angry Russians glaring at him, but Olga looked like she was about to skin and disembody him and make sure his body was never found.

‘Um –’ he spluttered unintelligently.

‘Come, Steve, sit down and explain what happened to our happy little Stasiya to make her cry like that?’ Olga asked sweetly, pushing him into the sofa. ‘Don’t worry about Tanya. She’s asleep. Come on, Spill.’

Behind them, Frances was locking the door. God, they were going to kill him.

He sighed. ‘I don’t know. She just – she told me to call her Stasiya, but that didn’t feel _right_. I mean, it feels like intruding in family business.’

Frances facepalmed so hard that he was afraid she’d leave a mark or slap her nose in.

‘I just – I can’t – God. I can’t even –’ Olga had planted her face into one of the cushions and he swears that he heard muffled screaming. ‘Stasiya – sweet, innocent, darling little Stasiya, offered her pretty little heart to you on a pretty little porcelain platter and you smashed it with your big, stupid hands?’

He was unable to answer with an intelligible reply. Darcy, sweet, gentle and kickass Darcy, who deserved so much more than a cranky World War Two soldier who was old enough to be her grandfather, tried to tell him that she was –

Oh.

_Oh._

Oh shit.

And he was fucked.

Frances threw her hands in the air. ‘I can _not_ believe that my life is a literal sit-com starring Steve Rogers as the main idiot and Stasiya Rasputina as the other main idiot!’

Wow. Ouch.

‘Yeah, yeah, I fucked up. I fucked up big time. If you ladies would allow me, I would like to –’

‘Nope,’ Olga stepped between him and the door. ‘Give her time. Talk to her tomorrow morning, at breakfast,’ she paused and wrinkled her nose, ‘Actually no. _After_ breakfast. But not now. Now go to your room and think of your sins.’

He’d just been grounded by Darcy’s cousin, what the hell.

When he finally escaped the Russian ladies and got out of the door, Mr Ashworth patted his shoulder. ‘Olga’s like that sometimes,’ he paused. ‘Nope. She’s like that all the time. But I’m going to admit that you messed up real bad with Stasiya. Try making up to her in the morning, hmm?’

Well, having someone who understood felt ridiculously good.

* * *

Olga was as mad as a person rationally could under such a circumstance. Which wasn’t really so mad, after all. As stupid as it was, this was hilarious. Darcy was at one end of the table, obviously avoiding Steve, and said dude was at the other end of said table, sullenly trying to drown himself in the tea. Even Fran was having a kick out the whole ordeal. She kept giggling into her cup and scarfing cakes into her mouth to keep from laughing. Tanya looked continuously between Tatie Stasiya and Uncle Steve and wondering why they weren’t talking to each other. Her husband was the only one who looked very uncomfortable. Guess the UST had an effect on him too.

‘Please just talk to her already,’ she hissed a she passed Steve, pretending to balance and rearrange the plates. ‘All that UST was so thick I ’most used it to spread on my toast instead of butter.’

When she left, he turned to Frances. ‘What’s UST?’

She raised a perfect eyebrow. ‘ _Unresolved sexual tension_.’

He spat his tea back into his cup.

* * *

‘Franziska Kowalska! You’re supposed to be afraid of Steve! What was that “ _unresolved sexual tension_ ” bullshit?’

‘I _am_ still slightly terrified of his giant frame, but seriously, Stasiya, he’s just as much of an idiot as you are, if not more.’

‘He literally just –’

‘As I said, he’s an idiot. If he tries to talk to you – great for the both of you, actually – let him talk. If he doesn’t, he’s too chicken and you should try not to kill him.’

‘I’ll leave the killing to Olga. She’s more terrifying than I am, and that’s speaking volumes.’

Fran sighed. ‘Stop trying to change the subject. Just – just – _talk_ to the man, alright? You’re torturing everyone in the house.’

* * *

‘What do you mean you don’t know? You don’t know Stevie’s been gone on you since forever?’ Iakov was almost yelling at the through the phone. ‘How are you so blind? How are you punks so stupid?’

‘Well, blame me for being stupid! It’s not even my fault that he was acting like he didn’t care since forever, as you say!’

‘But Darcy,’ Wanda chimed in, ‘he’s crackers about you –’

‘And is determined to marry me? No thanks. He’s no Louis Mountbatten.’

‘I can’t even believe this is happening,’ Bucky murmured and hung up on her.

Rude.

* * *

Steve was waiting for her in her room. She was suddenly glad that she had the serum or she would have died of a heart attack right there and then.

‘Whoa, what the fuck! We talked about lurking in the goddamn dark!’ she yelled as she fell backwards.

‘Uhh – sorry – sorry! God, Darce, I’m so sorry are you okay doIneedtogetOlgaorFrancesGodI’msosorry –’

She glared. Not that is was visible in the dark. ‘Help me up, please.’

He pulled her to her feet, and after she was safely seated on her bed, and the lamp was turned on, he sat down next to her.

‘I’m so sorry, Darce. I was an idiot.’

‘So you were,’ she said mildly and turned to sit in the bed, instead of on it. She patted the place next to her as she burrowed into the duvets. ‘Come sit.’

‘Am I allowed to talk?’

She turned up to smile at him. ‘Talk away.’

‘I was a massive idiot, and a massive asshole. I should have thought closely, been more considerate. So yeah, I do deserve to be shunned –’

‘It’s okay – I think. I haven’t been too direct. There were a zillion ways to misinterpret it. I can’t really blame you,’ and she curled herself into his laps, like she sometimes did during movie night. ‘It’s okay, Steve.’

‘No, it’s really not. I –’ He ran his fingers through her hair. ‘I like you, Darcy. A lot. Have since the nightmare. You know, I’ve always felt so restless when we had team activities. You’d stick so close to me and I have to constantly remind myself that you’re not my girl and it hurts so much to think that. You’ve always been there, Darcy. After Peggy, even when you didn’t know what happened. You’re kind and caring and all kinds of amazing, and I don’t know what would I do without you. My dearest, most beloved Stasiya,’ Stasiya, the name like a prayer on his lips, ‘tell me at once: say no if it is to be said.’

She wrapped her little arms around him, too tearful to form words.

He hugged her back and murmured, ‘You are silent – absolutely silent! At present I ask no more!

‘I cannot make speeches, Stasiya. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. – God knows I’ve been a very indifferent lover, but you understand me. Yes, you see, you understand my feelings, and will return them if you can. But at present I ask only to hear, once, to hear your voice.’

Darcy – or was it Stasiya now? – gave out a little sigh of content and relaxed into his arms, laughing wetly. ‘Oh, Steve.’

‘Can’t deny that I’ve always like _Emma_ best. _P and P_ never really appealed to me.’

‘I loved _Mansfield Park_. But _Emma_ will always have a special place in my heart, I have to say. Mr Knightley is a sweetheart.’

‘I shall endeavour to blame you and lecture you, then,’ he whispered into her hair in a rotten London accent.

‘Your accent sucks.’

‘Not everyone can nail the Northumberland accent like you, Darcy.’

She smiled. ‘ _Hold me close and hold me fast_  
 _The magic spell you cast_  
 _This is la vie en rose._ ’

Steve pressed his lips against her cold forehead.

‘ _When you kiss me heaven sighs_  
 _And though I close my eyes_  
 _I see la vie en rose._

‘ _When you press me to your heart_  
 _I’m in a world apart_  
 _A world where roses bloom._

‘ _And when you speak angels speak from above_  
 _Everyday words seem to turn into love songs._

‘ _Give your heart and soul to me_  
 _And life will always be_  
 _La vie en rose_.’

‘I will entreat to, my lady,’ he whispered as he pressed a kiss after another into her hair.

‘Are you about to kiss me proper, soldier?’ she asked playfully, and a kiss she got.

It started out as a little, innocent peck, almost a taste. But obviously Stasiya was who she was, and the exact same rule applied to Steve, the innocence in it was not exactly there after approximately five seconds. And the next few consisted almost purely of Stasiya shoving her tongue down her best friend (was he still her best friend? Should it be changed to gentleman friend?)’s throat. And boy wasn’t it glorious.

When they finally pulled apart, Darcy grabbed onto Steve’s arm to catch her breath for a breath longer than necessary, and said, laughingly, ‘We should have done that a long time ago.’

* * *

Darcy Lewis graduated from university. Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina graduated from another safe step in life. She was officially Doctor Lewis now. (But Doctor Rasputina did have an effect on people, even if she’d known that it was as impossible for her to be related to Grigori or Maria Rasputin(a) as for Natalia to be related to the Romanovs.) But she’d rather _not_ go by that, please and thank you. And if intern Tom called her that _one_ more time she was going to make him call her Мисс Распутина.

Bucky, Fury, Konstantin, Steve and Tony were the ones to come to her graduation. Bruce has an assignment in Nepal; Natasha had to stay back for obvious reasons; Jane had a lecture in Denmark; Wanda still wasn’t allowed in Europe, not that she didn’t deserve it, but Darcy and Pepper had started to work on the matter; Pepper was busy (oh, wasn't she always); Pietro had a bad cold and Helen had to practically lock him up in Medical because he insisted to get out of bed to his ‘baker of a fairy god-sister’. So, four photostatic-veiled people and her brother at her graduation ceremony. Okay. Fine. Olga, Mr Ashworth, Tanya, Aunt Eleonora and Fran were also present, but since they didn’t need to cross the Atlantic to get there they probably wouldn’t count as ‘guests’.

It was a shame that Talia, Milton and Anya couldn’t come, the children for security reasons, and she missed them sadly. She was going to stay with Olga in Berwick-upon-Tweed for a month before she went back to Manhattan which meant she had to survive another month without Anya’s kisses and Minton’s hugs.

But on the bright side, Fran had _finally_ talked to Konstantin and sorted out their almost-thirty-year-old feelings (‘wait, how old are you again, Stantin?’ ‘Mind yer own bloody business, lass.’ ‘Oh, right, you’re thirty-three and you still don’t have a love life.’ ‘Please just shut up.’). So she supposed it was a thing now? She wasn't sure.

‘You did great, kiddo,’ Tony said as he sat down next to her by the stream. ‘We’re all very proud.’

‘I wish Дядя Alexei could have been here. He would have been happy,’ she whispered.

Tony sighed. ‘I’m sorry about him. I wish we’d heard about his condition sooner. Helen could have helped.’

‘No use dwelling in the past. We have to rise and move on.’

‘That sounds familiar,’ he replied with a smirk.

She smirked back. ‘A very wise lady once said that to me.’

And he smiled at her, soft and genuine, and she felt like she was home. Really home.

* * *

When Steve shakingly showed her the video, her mind went blank.

‘They sent my Iakov to – to – to kill his old friend!’

Steve bit his bottom lip. ‘Does he remember?’

‘I don’t know! His memory – his head - is like Swiss cheese right now. They’re working on it,’ she murmured weakly, voice getting softer with each word.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ he admitted into her hair.

‘We tell them.’

‘Darce – _Stasiya_ – I’ve known this for too long – I should have done this sooner but –’

‘What do you mean, known for too long?’

‘We found the video during the data dump?’

‘The fuck – _Steven_! That’s – ugh.’ Speaking of the data dump, ‘I have to go kiss Fury and make him adopt me.’

_What_. ‘What?’

‘He somehow managed to get my files, information and all my things off S.H.I.E.L.D.’s servers before Talia’s brain short-circuited. Which explains the lack of people finding out that I’m _the_ Russian assassin and murder attempts. And he did all that while being “dead”, so. Wait, no. We need to tell them about the video. That’s the least we can do,’ and she swiped the tablet off the table, running out of her flat.

Tony was busy with the metal arm when they reached the labs.

He glanced at her and smiled. ‘What brings you down to our humble liar on your day off?’

Darcy glanced at Steve, who nodded, albeit hesitantly.

‘You might want to put the arm aside for now. I have a bit of – news to drop.’

Tony dropped it and the limp thing dropped to Bucky’s side, who yelled, ‘Oi, what the hell!’

‘Please tell me Capsicle didn’t get you knocked up. Fury hasn’t done his share of the shovel talk.’

That’s not terrifying, like, _not at all_.

Darcy shook her head.

Okay, here goes.

She put the tablet on the table and he eyed her warily, probably worried that she was about to play one of his ancient sex tapes.

What happened next was a blur. Stasiya started to cry. Bucky started to cry. Tony and Steve struggled for a few moments before starting to weep. Jane heard the sounds, came over, and burst into tears. The cycle was followed by Fitzsimmons, Helen, Pepper (surprisingly) and Clint, whose family was to visit tomorrow.

By the end of the video, everyone who passed the labs were huddled together in a crying mess. Tony was cuddling Bucky’s arm and sobbing into it. Darcy was bawling into Jane’s grimy shirt.

Long story short, it was really embarrassing. Sad, but still embarrassing.

Pepper was the first to recover (like, not surprising at all), and gingerly helped everyone else to their feet.

‘Alright now. No more moping. We can’t change the past. We have to move on. Guys, go to the kitchen. Bruce is making dinner. Tony, come one,’ and she guided everyone out of the labs like the efficient lady that she was.

No one said anything for a very long time.

And at last, Simmons, being the last mature adult in the group, herded everyone off the floor, asked FRIDAY to lock it up, begged them to please ‘go to the kitchen and take a rest’, and hauled Fitz’s ass into the lift.

Darcy was not amused by her wrangling. Really, it left something to be desired. She’d thought after all these years of professional wrangling the genius would at least learn _something_? But apparently not?

And so Stasiya, being Crying Mess #1, hauled Bucky, Crying Mess #2 and Steve, Crying Mess #4 (#3 being Tony), back to her flat so they could (a) cry in peace and (b) stress eat all the mango jelly she had left in the fridge. Which, as far as she was concerned, was a _lot_.

Talia was rummaging through her fridge. And probable eating her jam out of the jar like the heathen that she was.

Iakov reached her first, shook her, almost boxed her ears, snatched a cup of jelly and proceeded to cry into it. Steven followed suit, and slumped into the sofa next to his best friend.

Natasha glanced at her sister with a very pointed look that clearly said ‘the fuck just happened?’

She shrugged and sniffed. ‘If you didn’t know about the video, I swear, I’ll eat my hat.’

‘What – oh. Oh. The video. Sixteen December –’

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Darcy hissed and shoved a whole jelly into her mouth. ‘I can never look at Tony in the eye ever again. I read Iakov’s file so many times, how could I have missed something so important? It was us, Talia, it was us. I –’

‘No, no, Stasiya, Anastasiya, look at me. It’s not your fault,’ and Natasha grabbed her face with both hands. ‘It’s not, darling. It was 1991, for Saint Maria’s sake. You were one! You couldn’t have known, Мышкa, you couldn’t. It’s not okay, cестра, but it’s okay to _not_ be okay, sometimes. Hush,’ and she wiped away a rogue tear. ‘Мишкa, it’s alright. You’re alright now. Let’s get you something to eat, then we’ll think about how to make Tony feel better, yeah?’

Stasiya graciously accepted the jelly Natasha had shoved into her hands and stabbed her spoon into it. She chewed on it aggressively like the dramatic little shit that she was. Who the hell chomped on jelly?

Natasha rolled her eyes. ‘I’m going to check on the little troublemakers first. You grown-ass troublemakers behave while I’m gone to make sure Bruce isn’t dead. I’ll be back real quick,’ and she disappeared into the hallway.

Darcy sighed. If the present situation was more than fucked up she’d eat her favourite bonnet. And she couldn’t do that she needed to go the Jane Austen festival.

Beside her, Bucky sighed. Loudly.

‘Do I need to get Sam to cheer you up?’

‘Sam? What does this have to do with Sam?’

Great. Apparently they haven’t sorted out their UST and now she had two pining idiots on hand.

Steve grabbed another cup of jelly off the table. She slapped it out of his hand.

‘Fuck off, that’s mine.’

He pouted, turned away, and proceeded to sulk like the five-year-old that he secretly was.

Natasha returned with her children and Bruce, who quickly removed an excited Anya from Darcy’s legs.

‘Have you heard of Illyana Rasputina, Darcy?’ he asked.

‘Uh, no. Are we supposed to be related?’

‘Not if you’re not related to Grigori Rasputin you’re not.’

‘Oh, I most certainly am not, as far as I’m concerned. I wouldn’t go against being related to Maria Romanova, but not Maria Rasputina. Ew. Do I need to go into the fact that she kept the preserved the monstrosity that was supposed to be her father’s dick?’

Bruce snorted. ‘It turned out to be a sea cucumber. Which is worse.’

Beside them, everyone else in the room were busy being scandalised.

Bucky grimaced. ‘Thank Saint Alexandra that Stantin’s busy being Coulson’s minion. He’d probably have an apoplectic attack.’

‘Dude,’ Darcy mumbled, ‘Stantin probably knows these things better than I do. And can we get back to the topic at hand? We have devastated people in the tower and I’m pretty sure it was really badly done so now we have to deal with it.’

Bucky sighed again. ‘I should apologise the poor man and go back to Romania.’

Everyone in the room, save the children, rolled their eyes.

‘Please stop pretending to be a drama queen,’ Darcy bemoaned, and Steve nodded. ‘It doesn’t suit you.’

He sniffed. ‘I don’t know why am I even associated with you guys.’

Bruce buried his chin in Milton’s curly brown hair. ‘A little birdy told me that you might or might not have adopted little Anastasiya Dimitrievna Rasputina. That and the homing device on one Steven Grant Rogers.’

He found himself on the receiving end of an exceedingly camp look, and the ‘I hate you all’ went unsaid. He shrugged and bounced Milton on his knees.

‘I might need to remind you that that particular look has no effect on me, courtesy of one Natalia Alianovna Romanova.’

The ‘I _hate_ you all’ Bucky managed to growl out was positively bloodthirsty and hilarious.

* * *

Everyone moped.

Stasiya moped, Steve moped, Tony moped, Pepper moped, Bucky moped so Sam moped, Fitzsimmons moped, Natasha moped, Bruce moped, Jane moped, Clint moped, when the Bartons arrived and heard the news, Laura moped, everyone in the labs moped, everyone in the labs moped, basically everyone moped.

It was _not_ a sight to be proud of.

Darcy was really, really glad no one decided to attack New York because the only functioning people seemed to be Johnson and Rodriguez, but those two could _not_ be trusted to fight villains without adult supervision because the last time that happened, the asshole of the day came back to S.H.I.E.L.D. _dead_ , so _nope_.

No one knew how the fuck Coulson found out about the current crisis, but Fury called her, yelled at everyone over a video call while Coulson, May, Mack, Trip and Konstantin silently laughed at them, and made his point by saying a record-breaking twenty-two times of ‘motherfucker(s)’ in the course of three minutes and seventeen seconds. So despite Fury being one of her three almost-surrogate, almost-adoptive fathers, Darcy was petrified.

‘He’s going to gut me like a fish, I know it, I just do,’ she murmured as Fury finally hung up.

‘Then he’s going to castrate Iakov,’ Natasha whispered, looking shook for once in her life.

So truth be told, Stasiya Rasputina was absolutely ready to cry. Not Darcy Lewis though. Darcy was perfectly functional., On the outside.

Steve visibly gulped. And pepper rolled her eyes.

‘Steve, apart from Darcy here, you’re Fury’s favourite. The worst thing he’s going to do to you is vetoing you to Timbuktu. Vanuatu, at worst. –’

‘Pepper,’ Natasha interrupted, placing her hand on the other redhead’s arm, ‘he’s just dreading the incoming shovel talk.’

The rest of the room snickered.

* * *

When Coulson, Fury and their minions returned from wherever they were, Fury quite literally dragged Darcy and Steve kicking and screaming into his office, made them sit down and ordered, ‘Talk.’

‘About what?’

‘What happened when we were absent and why the fuck you idiots couldn’t do it tactfully. Now talk.’

Several hours of vein throbbing (Fury), crying (Darcy) and yelling (Steve) later, they emerged from Fury’s lair, looking like they’ve physically fought Nazis barehanded. No one looked very amused.

Natasha made them explain _what the actual hell_ happened in there to make Fury look like the vein was about to _explode_ , what the fuck, and Stasiya had explained, between sobs, that Fury had been upset about the lack of tact in breaking the news, and then that had escalated to a screaming match, and Fury had to sit down, take a big cup of coffee before getting up again and explaining to a former Russia assassin and a master tactician why dropping the bomb like peeling off a plaster was a ‘fucking stupid move’. Then _that_ had led to another screaming match and Fury nearly having an apoplectic attack, which _then_ lead to Darcy freaking out and _then_ –

‘Okay, _okay_ , I get the idea.’

Yeah, right.

Forget that Fury threatened to shake her and almost socked Steve in the jaw when he decided it was a good idea to remind Fury that he was dating his almost-adopted daughter. That and Fury grabbed his bag of ground coffee so hard that it exploded all over the room. So, eh.

But her, at least they managed to avoid the traditional shovel talk, so all was well.

Never let it be said that Fury’s Shovel Talk™ was going to be forgotten after a while. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

* * *

Morgan Margaret Stark, Morgan for her mother’s uncle and Margaret for her father’s godmother, was a squirmy, loud baby, and had been babbling from the second she was placed into her cradle. Lila had held her for exactly for then ten seconds before declaring, ‘This is my new sister! Nate sucks!’

Said brother who sucked dropped his Bucky Bear. ‘Oi!’

Darcy lifted him onto her hips. ‘Hush, children! Morgan’s your new cousin, and you all have to be nice, yes? Lila, don’t be mean to Nate.’

Cooper came in and carried his brother away. ‘Let me, Aunty. Nate’s crazy heavy for someone his size.’

Nate glared.

Milton and Anya were curled up beside Lila, happily petting away at Morgan’s short, curly hair, Anya cooing whenever her little cousin stirred.

Pepper came in and sat down next to Darcy at the end of the bed, smiling at the little group of children. ‘Well, if you told me that there’ll be five of my friends’ children sitting on my bed playing with my daughter ten years ago I’d have laughed in your face,’ and she gently massaged Darcy’s forearm. ‘But I’ll never trade this for the world.’

Darcy smiled. ‘You know what? I think I’ve learned how to really embrace myself. All this babysitting adrenaline junkies thingy has made me realise that the whole assassin-childhood thing isn’t exactly a thing to be ashamed of.’

‘That’s good. Does that mean we’re going to be calling you Anastasiya now?’

Darcy laughed. ‘That’s the goal, yes.’

She found herself leaning into Pepper’s arms (she’d aimed for the crook of her neck, but she’s a whole ten centimetres taller and she miscalculated, okay?) as her hair got petted. ‘Keep doing that. Ooh that feels nice. Will Tony be mad if I stole you?’

‘He’ll sic you back on Steve without saying anything.’

‘Hair point. Don’t really want to steal my pseudo-father’s wife.’

Pepper snorted so hard that she startled the children on the other side of the bed.

They laughed, and all was well.

* * *

‘I think we should just run off to Gretna Green’

Steve stared at her like she’d said something absolutely absurd. ‘What?’

‘It’s a perfectly logical statement, Steven. We can go to Berwick-upon-Tweed to visit Olga and take a day trip to Gretna Green. You’re not against getting married over a dead horse, are you?’

‘Stasiya, doll, light of my life, did you just propose to me?’

‘I … guess?’

Steve looked a little faint. ‘Not that I don’ want to marry you, Stasiya, love,’ he said quickly, as her face fell. ‘But is eloping à la Georgian really necessary?’

‘Firstly, getting a religious marriage is out of the question because we both know that I’d rather die than convert to Catholicism, and you’d never want to follow that Orthodox Church, let’s be real, so I thought, well, let’s not make this religious and get married the traditional way.’

‘Over a horse’s corpse?’

‘People did that!’

‘Wasn’t it illegal?’

‘According to the church, it was. Because they didn’t have a marriage department or whatever it’s called back then. Now all we have to do is get some papers and sign it, BOOM. We’re married. I kind of just wanted to try out the “dead horse” thing.’

‘That sounds kinda sketchy –’

‘That’s the damn point, любимец.’

‘Can’t we just get Tony to do it again? In Northumberland, maybe?’

Stasiya paused. ‘You know what? I should ask Fury to officiate. Tony did it last time. But I’m pretty sure he knows someone with a dead or dying horse somewhere.’

‘Okay, so no Gretna Green, but you insist on the horse?’

‘The horse stays, Cтевен.’

He was _so_ not winning this argument. And oh –

‘I have to tell you something.’

‘Um hmm?’

‘It’s about your parents.’

‘Oh, I know. You killed them. Thanks for that, by the way.’

‘… What?’

‘Well, you heard me. Neither of them were parent material. They had Stantin and I just because HYDRA needed soldiers.’

‘So they were –’

‘Not abusive: no. Just – really shitty in general. But if they hadn’t died I wouldn’t be here. You’d be hunting my workplaces and possibly killing me, let’s be real.’

Holy _shit_ she did _not_ mean to say that out loud.

But he smiled softly. ‘I’m glad we took that mission, then. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.’

She leaned back into her chair. ‘I want to go get ice cream. Let’s go check if Tony needs Peter and Pietro out of his hair and we can go to town.’ She extended her left hand. ‘Help me up?’

He yanked her straight into an embrace. ‘Stasiya, oh, Stasiya, you’re a gift,’ and planted his warm lips on hers.

Let’s just agree that James Buchanan Barnes had nothing but bad timing and bad luck, because no, he did not sign up for walking on his pseudo-daughter and his best friend sucking face when he agreed to officially move into the tower.

‘Holy shit, Stasiya! Put a sock on the doorknob or something!’

She raised a middle finger in his general direction. ‘As if I haven’t walked on you and Sam –’

Bucky launched himself at her. And no, he’s not responsible for the broken coffee table. Not at all. No, Siree.

Stasiya smiled.

All was well, all was well.

**Author's Note:**

> As a person whose Russian only extends to ‘yes’, ‘no’, names of family members and very random terms of endearment, here’s a clarification for my bad Russian, French, and American English.
> 
> Russian:  
> Cестра – pronounced something like _sestra_ , meaning sister  
> Да – pronounced something like _da_ , meaning yes  
> Нет – pronounced something like _nyet_ , Romanised as _net_ , but whatever, meaning no  
> Батюшка – pronounced something like _batyushka_ , a _very_ formal form of father  
> Mладший брат – pronounced something like _mladshiy brat_ , meaning little brother  
> Mладшая сестра – pronounced something like _mladshaya sestra_ , meaning little sister  
> Брат – pronounced something like _brat_ , meaning brother  
> Девушка – pronounced something like _devushka_ , meaning girl  
> Мальчик – pronounced something like _mal’chik_ or the like, meaning boy  
> Мышкa – pronounced something like _myshka_ , meaning mouse  
> Мишкa – pronounced something like _mishka_ , meaning bear or teddy bear  
> Дядя – pronounced something like _Dyadya_ , meaning uncle  
> Teтyшка – pronounced tetushka, meaning aunt  
> Любимец – pronounced … ugh. Lubimets or something like that, meaning favourite, darling or pet  
> Cтевен - literally Steven  
> According to Google Translate:  
> Кak вы дyмaете, мы дoлжны привести Иakoв в этo? – Do you think we should bring Iakov into this?  
> Нет, не сейчас. – No, not now.  
> Почему бы и нет? – Why not?  
> Oн не готв. Дaй ему время. – He’s not ready. Give him time.  
> Центральной – Central  
> Этo девушка или mальчик? – Is it a girl or a boy?
> 
> French:  
> C’est vrai – it’s true  
> Tatie - Aunty  
> And according to my very, _very_ limited knowledge on American English:  
> Father Christmas is called Santa Claus or Santa  
> The telly is generally called TV  
> A biscuit is a cookie  
> …And probably a few more I didn’t manage to find during my last ‘reread-and-recheck’ ritual.
> 
> Kudos to anyone who recognises the reference Darcy understood. There’re more. Look closely. 
> 
> And also, if you’re wondering, Mamee Monsters is a Malaysian snack that my mum insists on calling ‘junk food’. It sort of looks like uncooked instant noodles and you crunch it before eating it. Some flavours come with some real gross and salty seasoning in a small packet. I personally like the spicy ones best, hence Darcy’s exclamation when Jemma produces them.
> 
> And about Bucky’s name in Russian, apparently the fandom has agreed with the whole ‘Yasha’ nickname, but I’m having none of that. Iakov (sometimes spelled Yakov, but whatever) works with me just fine, thankyouverymuch. And let’s just ignore that fact that I actually once contemplated using Iakob (Romanian) and Jakub (Serbian).
> 
> Before you say anything about the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. being OOC, _I know_ , okay? I've been crying throughout that show since Season 2.
> 
> I wrote the song Bucky and Natasha sang to Darcy. You can find the melody (and score) [here](https://musescore.com/user/25209206/scores/5785227)
> 
> And to make things clear:  
> Dimitri Ivanovich Rasputin – Stasiya and Stantin’s father.  
> Marie Ivanovna – their mother.  
> Olga Alexeyevna Rasputina – Stasiya and Stantin’s cousin, the one who made Stasiya wear a bubble-gum coloured dress to her wedding.  
> Alexei Ivanovich Rasputin – Dimitri’s elder brother, Olga’s father, Stasiya and Stantin’s uncle, who dies in the middle of this whole mess.  
> Franziska Kowalska – one of the black widows, Alexei’s ward, the one for whom he sold their house in Leningrad so she could escape to England, Konstantin’s … lady friend.  
> Eleonora Feodorova – Stasiya and Stantin’s aunt, Olga’s mother, Alexei’s wife.  
> Tatiana Rasputina ‘Tanya’ Ashworth – Olga’s daughter.  
> Mr Ashworth – Olga’s husband, whom Olga tries to keep from Stasiya that’s he’s English (af), also whom I was too lazy to name. Possibly George or something amongst the Austen kind though.  
> Milton Romanov Banner – Talia and Bruce’s son, very possibly spoiled rotten by his Mum, Papa, Tatie Stasiya, Dyadya Stantin and all the AIs in the Tower.  
> Anastasia ‘Anya’ Romanova Banner – Talia and Bruce’s daughter, definitely spoiled by every person (, bot and AI) in the Tower, especially Papa, Mum, Tatie Stasiya, Dyadya Stantin and Uncle Tony.
> 
> My [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/marguerite-thian)


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